Inside Out
by flyinpigmarathon
Summary: Shuuhei unexpectedly meets his childhood hero in a random sports shop and soon realizes that his feelings go beyond admiration. But things don't stay simple for long. AU. Kensei/Shuuhei. boy/boy now rated M
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: YAOI.**

**Disclaimer: chartacers not mine. Unfortunately. **

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High school fall sports were just around the corner and my friend, Renji, was on a mad dash to buy all his equipment in time. He never had any real interest in soccer, but once his childhood friend, Rukia, became the team manager, he developed an obsession with getting on the team. So, on one fine sunny afternoon that would have been better spent on the basketball court, Renji dragged me and a few of our friends to a random sports shop. While Renji was trying to pick out a ball, I zoned out the loud bickering of Renji and Iba over which soccer ball had the coolest design and focused on my own troubles.

Truthfully, I couldn't spare the time fooling around with Renji and the others. I had been looking for a job for the past few weeks and I needed to find one soon. Ever since my mentor, Tousen, disappeared, I was short a job and living expenses. My parents weren't providing, so I had to take care of myself. I was discouraged since no one wanted to hire a punk covered in scars, so I took this little field trip to Karakura Sports as a welcome distraction. I didn't realize, though, that we were soon going to overstay our welcome.

"Look, this one has a dragon!" Renji shouted.

"Dragons are just tacky and unmanly lizards. This tiger, though-" Iba started.

"TIGER? Are you trying to say that a stupid cat is cooler than a dragon?"

"Your bellowing is annoying and crude. Stop it. And if you must know, that purple ball is more beautiful than either of those two monstrosities," Yumichika interrupted.

"Like you know anything, fruitcake!" Renji snapped. A noticeable tick appeared on Yumichika's forehead and Ikkaku placed a hand on his friend's shoulder to keep the self-proclaimed beautiful man from tearing the two apart.

"These dumbasses aren't worth it," Ikkaku muttered.

"Shut up, baldy," an irritated Renji spat.

"I'M NOT BALD. GET OVER HERE SO I CAN RIP YOU A NEW ASSHOLE!"

By this time, I paused my moping in favor of calming everyone down before we were kicked out. The office door banged open while I was wrestling a baseball bat from Ikkaku.

"Let go, Shuuhei! I'm gonna-"

"SHUT UP, YOU BRATS!" someone roared. A moment later, a muscular (and scary) white haired man came stomping out of his office.

First came the shock of seeing a human weapon barreling towards us. Then came the shock of actually recognizing said weapon. I couldn't believe it, but I wouldn't mistake the person in front of me even if I was blind. But the joy didn't last very long since my childhood hero, Kensei Muguruma, looked very, very angry and we unfortunately were the target of that anger.

Instead of destroying us, an irate Muguruma spent the next half hour helping a now silent Renji finding all the supplies he needed. Muguruma never once looked my way and I was a bit disappointed that he didn't recognize me. I had to remind myself that our last meeting was seven years before and normal people don't remember the faces of snot-nosed brats they met for five minutes that long ago. Not to mention how much I changed over seven years.

The day I had first met Kensei Muguruma had started with me and my friends getting kicked off the soccer field by a bunch of teenagers. We, being only ten years old, gave in without a fight and headed elsewhere. That elsewhere turned out to be on the bank of the river. I must have been closer to the edge than I realized, since one moment I was on dry land and then I wasn't. My friends either didn't realize what happened or they were too afraid to dive in after me. I couldn't swim, so I found myself with a mouth full of water and not knowing which way was up. I was dizzy and y flailing tired me out quickly. I was convinced I was going to die. With one last gurgle, I raised my hands above my head. I didn't know what I was expecting, but a large and strong hand grabbing my wrist wasn't it. I was pulled above the surface and was clutched to a muscled body that was just as soaked as I was. All I remembered after that was a masculine face, grey hair, and the words "be strong and glad you're alive". I was too terrified to ask for his name and I didn't know him, but I was certain that he was someone great.

When I met him again, I wasn't sure whether to approach him or not. The man obviously had no recollection of me and he didn't seem to be in the best mood either. I settled for staring at him out of the corner of my eye and coming back to the store the next day to apply for a job, killing two birds with one stone. Even if he had no idea who I was, I would be content just being near him.

Muguruma didn't turn out to be exactly what I expected. I had imagined some brave hero. Of course, the outburst should have tipped me off, but I was floating on cloud nine at the time. I slowly realized that he was aggressive and easily irritated. That didn't matter, since he was also dependable, caring -despite how much he tried to hide it-, and he would never abandon anyone. I still admired him. I still thought he was a great man. I still couldn't believe my luck at finding him again.

* * *

I walked through the doorway of Karakura Sports, cautiously glancing around before taking another step in. I'd been hired a few months ago and in that time I realized that the small store could easily become a battle ground. After determining the shop violence-free, I pulled on the customary blue vest and strolled over to the office.

I knocked on the door and peeked into the room. I immediately ducked back out again as a stapler whirled past my head.

"You bitch!" Kensei bellowed.

"But Kensei, I just wanted to buy some sweets~-"

"Then use your own damn money!"

"You're so mean~ You're no fun at all!"

"Why you-!"

I decided it was time for me to make my entrance, before Kensei strangled Mashiro, the full time worker at the shore. She and Kensei had a long history, but for some reason Kensei never developed an immunity against her immaturity.

"Kensei, do you need any help with the receipts?" I volunteered. It had taken me two months for me to be able to call him anything other than Muguruma-san, since that was quite a mouthful.

Kensei paused mid-rant and sighed. He took a few deep breaths before turning towards me.

"Nah. Just restock the baseballs. I'll have Mashiro actually do some work around here," he grumbled before stalking off.

"Aw, Kensei's in a bad mood," Mashiro complained.

"He wouldn't be so moody if you didn't try to annoy him all the time," I reminded her.

"But, Shuu-chan, it's so much fun!"

The girl was hopeless.

I always wondered what happened in the past for Kensei and Mashiro to have formed such a strong and strange bond. I never tried so ask and he never offered. I sometimes debated whether to tell him about my time with Tousen or not, but always decided against it. Kensei didn't need to know and didn't show any interest. It was probably the same reasoning that kept him from including me in his complicated past. The more you know, the more you get hurt when everything falls to shit. Kensei's general aloofness and protectiveness over Mashiro, despite her usually annoying personality, made it seem like their struggles weren't over. I was curious, but something told me that subject was off-limits. I didn't have the guts to break that unspoken law.

The baseball aisle was a mess. The peewee Yankees had ransacked the place. It was a tedious task, but I did my job as diligently and productive as usual. Not to brag, but I was a good worker. And a good cook. I could play guitar pretty well, too-

"Hisagi, do you know where Mashiro put the account books?"

I was also good at being patient. Patient. Patient….

The rest of the day passed without hindrance. I was about to lock up the shop when someone tapped on the window. I glanced up, and despite my renowned cool and collected personality, I was almost sick with dread. As much as I loved Kensei and Mashiro, they usually wore me out. However, Shinji and the always pleasant Hiyori brought exhaustion to another level. And guess who was standing on the opposite side of the door.

I must have hesitated in opening the door, since Shinji put on a sad puppy face the moment he walked in.

"Aw, Shuuhei, aren't you pleased to see me; the amazing-"

"Shut it, dumbass!"

At this point, I walked away with "I'll tell Kensei you're here." I had to get away before Mashiro was thrown into the mix. I watched from a distance as Shinji and Hiyori talked with Kensei and Mashiro. From the looks on their faces, it was something important. I wasn't going to ask about it. Kensei and the group of seven others were nice enough, but they liked to keep to themselves. I had only known them for three months. I wasn't a part of their family, so I turned a blind eye to situations like this. It shouldn't have hurt, but sometimes I felt a pang in my chest whenever I was excluded.

Shinji left with Hiyori chasing after him with her sandal. Kensei was leaning on a shelf, his brows furrowed and mouth set in a frown. I always hated it when he looked troubled. As much as I didn't like the thought of Kensei being upset, I despised not being able to do anything about it. I liked making Kensei happy, calming him down, or cheering him up when Mashiro created an unusually large mess of things. Pain was not something I wanted to see on Kensei's face. It hurt me as well.

"Hey, Shuuhei," Kensei called before I left for the day. "Take the next few days off. You're young; hang out with your friends or something instead of being cooped up in here all day."

I nodded, said goodbye, and walked out of the shop. I knew my forced absence from work had something to do with what Shinji told Kensei and the past they shared. I knew I was being kept out of it. Of course, I expected that. And hated it.

I hated being kept out of the loop. Tousen had done the same thing before he betrayed me. Now Kensei was doing the same thing. If they needed to, Kensei and Mashiro would vanish along with everyone else. I wouldn't be able to stand being left behind again. I had kept out of their business because I was an outsider, but I had to get involved this time to keep from being abandoned again.

I had to.

* * *

The three days that passed gave me enough time to figure out my plan. Unfortunately, it had the potential of completely backfiring. However, I couldn't think of anything else that would put me in a better situation. I wasn't one to take risks, but if I had a reason I was capable of doing very stupid things.

After my short-term exile was complete, I went in to work and immediately saw Kensei hunched over and brooding. The expression wasn't very different from usual, but I could tell the difference.

When I had been planning, I pondered over whether to act at the beginning or end of my shift. Eventually, I decided to just do it when I had a good chance. I hated going in without a set plan, but it was the best I could come up with since Kensei could be unpredictable. I only hoped that he would realize that I wanted to know what was going on and by some miracle he would respect my feelings.

Kensei was in his office, finishing up some accounts. The second he finished, he would get started right on the next set of work he designated for the day. It was a good a time and chance as any. I took a deep breath and walked into the office. It felt as though my heart was trying to do cartwheels out of my chest.

"Kensei," I started, leaning against his desk. He looked up at me, annoyed that I interrupted him. He was meticulously responsible with his paperwork.

"What is it?" he grumbled.

"I never told you what I was doing before working here. I doubt you care, but I wanted to inform you. We've become close and I don't want any misconceptions."

Kensei put his work down and looked up at me. "I don't see how your previous employer has anything to do with 'misconceptions'. Get back to work so I can finish this."

Okay. So he was going to be difficult. I planted my feet firmly on the floor to stop their trembling. I had spent quite a few years training to be a businessman with Tousen and I prided myself on being calm in almost any situation. Now, a little talk and my neurons were having a field day. Pathetic.

"I used to work for Kaname Tousen," I said anyway. I had too much at stake for either of us to weasel out of this. I didn't know how Kensei would react to my insistence, but I expected something along the lines of him gruffly telling me to shut up and get the hell out before he clobbered me. Instead, he almost lurched out of his chair. His eyes were wide. "Ummm…" I stalled, forgetting my next move for a moment.

"You used to work for Tousen," Kensei stated. I nodded and his mouth twisted into a strained grimace. "You're only eighteen. How could you work for a large company and powerful business man?"

"He was my mentor. Picked me up since I was smart and needed some help." I had to know why Tousen's name meant so much to Kensei, but Kensei gained control of the situation and I could only answer his questions. "After my parents got divorced, my mom disappeared and my dad wasn't exactly in the state of mind to support me. Like I said, I'm smart and Tousen must've thought I'd be useful when I got older."

"If you're so smart, why are you working here?" Kensei asked carefully. Great, now he's suspicious of me.

"I think you can guess why." He couldn't. He couldn't possibly know the real reason why I wanted to work for him and I wasn't going to tell him. "Tousen was my mentor, teaching me about business. I even got my own paycheck. Everything was due to Tousen, so everything fell apart when he, Aizen, and Gin betrayed the company. Tousen left me behind and everyone was suspicious of me because I'd been so close to him, so I quit. I was just as confused and hurt as they were. Afterwards, I just wanted a simple job with no strings attached." Tousen, Aizen, and Gin left with money, assets, and too much power for a man like Aizen to handle. I hadn't been able do anything about it. That hurt, but that alone wouldn't make me stray from my chosen path.

Kensei didn't say anything for a while. Then he stared at me straight in the eye and held my gaze.

"How do you feel about Tousen now?" Kensei asked me. I could hear his voice shaking. I still wasn't sure what connected Kensei and Tousen or why Kensei even wanted to know. I was hesitant to answer, but I found myself doing so anyway.

"I don't know why Tousen betrayed the company or what he is after. But I want to show Tousen that he was wrong for hurting so many people. Especially for letting a man like Aizen control so much of the economy." My voice was uneven, despite my attempts to keep myself calm. I tried to search Kensei's face for a reaction, but he just sat there. For someone who got angry so easily, he sure had a first-rate poker face.

"Are you willing to take Tousen down, even if it means putting him in prison?" he asked after a few minutes.

Kensei wanted to bring Tousen's crime to public attention?

"Kensei, what do you mean-"

"Answer the question."

Kensei's expression was set and hard. This was a Kensei I never met before and one I didn't like. I was almost temped to call the entire plan off. I was clearly getting myself into something dangerous. However, this was Kensei and I wanted nothing more than to be by his side. Even if it meant risking everything.

I took a deep breath and made sure Kensei could see the determination in my eyes. "I hope it doesn't come to that," I said. "But, I know Aizen will only use his wealth and power for his own use. I don't know what Tousen is planning, but if bringing his actions to light is the only way to stop Aizen, then I'm willing to do that." That was the truth. Tousen did so much for me and he became someone I cared about, but he betrayed me and himself. If I didn't stop him –if I didn't stop Aizen-, then his sense of justice would only corrode further and Aizen would keep hurting others.

Kensei didn't say anything. He just sat there, looking at my face. After a while he seemed to break out of his thoughts. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Get back to work," was the only thing he said. I wanted to talk to him more, to know what he was thinking. I opened my mouth to say more, but Kensei only stared with that same impassive gaze. Kensei wouldn't allow anything else to be said. I walked back out of the office and rearranged the hockey sticks.

* * *

I spent the rest of the work day sneaking glances at the office door and awaiting Kensei's next words. What if he cut me off completely? Was I too pushy? Did he associate me with Tousen now? How could I regain his trust?

I couldn't concentrate on work. Even Mashiro noticed that something was wrong and stayed out of my way.

I went home without giving or getting a goodbye. I went back to my small apartment and flopped down on my couch. There was no way I would be sleeping that night.

Did I make a mistake telling Kensei my past? Would he avoid me?

My heart clenched and for a moment I forgot how to breathe. I couldn't lose Kensei. If I did- oh god. I took a few breaths to calm myself down, but it didn't work. Life without Kensei was unimaginable. I just found him again and if I let him slip away so easily… I wouldn't allow it.

I didn't want to be without Kensei or his irritability, wide grins, and large hands that fixed everything around him.

xxx

I was determined to not let Kensei disappear, but that was easier said than done. It wasn't as if I could tie him up. I spent an agonizing and tedious day in my classes, knowing that I missed quite a few important notes in the lectures. Every minute I spent away from Kensei felt too long.

That afternoon I almost sent myself into coronary arrest while walking to work. I was driving myself to an early death with worry. I tried consoling myself, telling myself that Kensei just wouldn't up and leave without even a goodbye. However, that dream was shattered the moment I saw that the CLOSED sign on the shop door.

I had made a huge mistake telling Kensei about Tousen. He was gone.

Gone.

I was close to hyperventilating and the wall was my only support. I clenched my eyes shut and when I reopened them, I saw a figure blurred by my unshed tears rounding the corner.

My breath caught in my throat and my stomach uncurled. I was close to throwing myself into Kensei's arms and never letting go.

"Come with me, Shuuhei. Everyone has some explaining to do," Kensei ordered and in a relief-induced haze, I followed him without any hesitation. Kensei didn't abandon me. He didn't leave. I trailed behind his broad back like it was the North Star. I would follow him to the ends of the earth.

* * *

**A/N: Well, there's chapter 1/?. ?, because I'm not sure whether I'm going to write more. I already know what I would write if I decide to, but it all depends on how I feel. I like the plot of this, but my writing isn't the best nowadays (sorry about the wacky verb tenses...). If I do write more, it's going to be one more chapter and any unanswered questions will be answered then. **

**This was actually going to be M, but it turned out to be relatively clean sex-wise. This was also going to be realistic, but I got a tiny bit impatient and decided to rush things...**

**Anyway, I hope you liked this!  
**


	2. Chapter DUO

The amazement over Kensei not abandoning me wore off after a while and I slowly realized that I still had no idea what was happening. At first, I assumed that Kensei and the others were going to explain everything to me. Then I considered that I might be lead into some shack out in the woods and interrogated until I spilled all of Tousen's secrets. But that was (probably) impossible.

My mind was reeling and I couldn't help but mull over every possible situation. By the time Kensei led me to a small apartment building, I was starting to freak myself out. The less-than-respectable nature of the building didn't help my nerves either.

My apprehension must have shown on my face, because Kensei grabbed one of my wrists and tugged me along. "Let's go," he said. "You want to be involved so here we are. It's not like we're going to torture you." That last part didn't seem very convincing.

I went with Kensei anyway and walked up a flight of creaking stairs. My heart pounded harder with every step. There was a thin hallway with peeling paint and I almost expected the walls to start bleeding 'REDRUM'. We finally stopped outside an apartment door and he motioned me inside. By that time, all that was running through my mind was _shitshitshitshit_.

I opened the door and saw people sitting on couches and chairs. I almost jumped right back out of the room before I recognized their faces.

"Sit down, Shuuhei," Shinji said from a torn chair. "We got some stuff to talk about."

I almost died from relief that there wasn't a squad of hired assassins. Scolding myself over how stupid I was being, I nodded and shuffled over to an empty couch. I plopped down and fought the urge to slouch and make myself seem smaller. My posture was always perfect and I wasn't about to let that slip because I was a little (very) intimidated.

Kensei sat next to me and my brain almost short-circuited. He was so close and I could feel his body heat on my thigh. It made my leg tingle.

Geez, Shuuhei. Stop mixing up your priorities!

"You know everyone here, right?" Kensei asked me.

"Yeah." My memory for faces was as good as my posture. Almost everyone that I knew to be a part of Kensei's 'family' was there. Though, there was an absence of a green blob I've become very familiar with.

"Where's Mashiro?" I wondered. Her childish attitude would have made this ordeal less frightening.

Kensei's face twisted into a grimace before he answered. "She's off goofing around somewhere and I don't feel like dragging her ass back here."

I just responded with "ah" and decided not to push the subject any further. A few minutes went by without anyone speaking and I could feel seven pairs of eyes staring at me. I kept my gaze on the wooden floor.

"This may be a very bad idea," Love said after a while.

Rose sighed. "Indeed, this would normally be a disaster; however, this is a peculiar circumstance. When two worlds collide, they need to merge in order to avoid destruction. Shuuhei here- ouch!" Rose rubbed his head where Love hit him.

"This isn't the time for your monologues," Love snapped.

"I was trying to be dramatic!"

While those two argued, Lisa turned towards Kensei.

"Are you sure you want to involve him in this?" she asked him, motioning towards me. "You know how dangerous it will be. His relationship with Tousen may make it difficult-"

"I'm not going to run away," I cut in, kind of ticked off that they were talking like I wasn't there. "I want to do this." I wasn't surprised that Lisa knew my history with Tousen. I imagined that Kensei told them when they were all deciding whether to include me or not, seeing as this would affect all of them. Though, there must have been some debate since there was still some doubt lingering. Hopefully that doubt would be gone by the end of the night.

"I'm not worried about what _you're_ going to do," Lisa snapped at me. "Tousen's not going to go easy on you because you two used to play family. I'm asking Kensei if he's okay with sending you to your-"

"Lisa," Kensei interrupted. "Shuuhei wouldn't be here if I didn't think he could handle himself." And I could. I had the scars to prove it.

Lisa didn't look convinced, but backed down. Kensei stayed tense, as if daring anyone else to challenge him. I fought a smile; Kensei believed in me. Now all I had to do was not let him down.

"Now, let's get the ball rolling," Shinji said, clapping his hands together. "I can feel myself aging."

After a few moments everyone calmed down and all the attention was right back on me. Fantastic.

Kensei spoke first. "Shuuhei, we're going to take Aizen down and you're going to help us. If you want to back out, do it now."

I knew what I was getting into. Aizen was a dangerous man and I was about to become his enemy. At the moment that didn't matter; I wasn't going to let Aizen take Kensei away from me as well.

"I'm not backing down," I declared.

"Alrighty, then we better start at the beginning, yeah?" Shinji said.

**

* * *

**

Everyone was quiet as Shinji spoke. All stared at the floor or the walls, lost in their thoughts and recollections. Kensei was in another world, even though he was sitting right next to me.

Shinji talked without his usual lazy drawl.

Kensei and the others had worked at my same company, but a few years before Tousen became my mentor. They had all been Department Heads or in high positions. It was a wonder I never heard their names spoken in the company. Though, that was probably because they became somewhat of a taboo.

For a few weeks there had been reports of missing files and other important documents. Rival companies were getting their hands on account books and transactions. There had been no leads, until one day evidence that pointed to eight people sprung up over night. The eight people who were blamed knew who really did it.

Shinji had suspected Aizen for a while and tried to wait until he had solid evidence. One night, though, he saw Aizen and Gin leave the record room with folders in their arms. Kensei also caught Tousen sabotaging equipment and files. Mashiro, Hiyori, Love, Rose, Hachi and Lisa just happened to be with them at the time. Shinji thought he finally had enough evidence to put Aizen behind bars. The next morning, though, before Shinji or anyone could make their case, they were blamed for everything Aizen, Gin, and Tousen did. There was evidence convicting them, obviously fake to the eleven who knew the truth. All eight were fired and blacklisted. No one would hear them out.

They ended up living together in hopes of someday finding the means to regain everything they had lost.

"We all have something at stake," Shinji said to me. "So you better put your all into this."

I could only nod.

Everyone was quiet. There was nothing else to say. I felt Kensei's hand on my shoulder and at that moment nothing mattered but the contact between us. It was going to be risky here on out, but it was worth it.

"I found a new super cute sweater! And-what's Shuu-chan doing here?"

Mashiro's voice shattered whatever tension was left in the room. Soon everyone was laughing and talking. Kensei was grinning, but his eyes weren't shining.

**

* * *

**

For the first time in a while, I let myself go. I chatted and joked with the others without reminding myself to be respectful or to make sure I didn't accidently insult someone. I acted like they were family, which they now were.

After Mashiro burst in, the serious agenda dissipated into a small party. Aizen or betrayal wasn't mentioned again. At one point, Lisa tried to loan me some porn magazines, but Kensei confiscated them before I could even touch them.

I didn't want to, but I had to leave sooner or later. It was late and there was school the next day. I had to get back to my apartment. It was tough leaving, but I knew that everything wouldn't change overnight. Kensei offered to walk me home, which shocked all of us. Before anyone could ask him what his ulterior motives were, he ushered me out the door.

It wasn't too far of a walk to my apartment. Maybe twenty minutes or so. For a while Kensei just walked quietly beside me and I couldn't think of anything to say. I felt comfortable around him, but there was still something awkward between us. Like there was still some important things left unsaid.

"We're going to wait until you graduate high school before we do anything drastic," Kensei finally announced. I nodded, not knowing what the point of this conversation was.

"I can handle both this and school. I was able to get the highest marks in my class while I was spending all my free time with Tousen. You know how anal retentive he is," I reminded him. Tousen was probably not the best topic, since Kensei's face soured at the mention on him. "I don't hate Tousen. I can't hate him." Not the best, but necessary.

"I already knew that," he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "And we're still going to wait. We need time to prepare anyway." We walked in silence for a few moments and the awkwardness I felt between us grew.

"Hey, am I still going to work in your store?" I asked, trying to break the ice. I would have loved to keep working there, but if they wanted me to do something more productive towards their cause, then I wouldn't complain.

"You're still getting paid, aren't you?" he said gruffly. He cracked a small grin and I could feel the warmth in that gesture. I smiled; my time with Kensei wasn't going to be cut short for a while.

"You know, they're starting to raise the rent and I could really use a pay-"

"Stop right there or I'll to rip your tongue out."

I couldn't help but laugh. It felt so good, letting my happiness out. Kensei only snorted, but he was finally relaxed enough to joke around with me.

It took a while for me to calm myself down. The smile was still on my face, and I walked beside Kensei like I was meant to.

Kensei looked like he was pondering something and I let him think uninterrupted.

"Why did you tell me about Tousen? Why get yourself involved in something so screwed up again?" he suddenly asked me, breaking the peaceful silence between us. The question caught me off guard and I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Uh-I-um-wanted to get involved since I was sick of being-"

"Shuuhei."

I looked at the ground, my face heating up. What was I supposed to say? He wouldn't buy that I was merely curious and tired of being left out of the loop. Moreover, it wouldn't feel right telling him an outright lie.

I could feel his eyes on me.

Oh, to hell with it.

"Because I didn't want to lose you," I finally said.

I glanced up at him. His eyes widened slightly before he looked away.

"You've become someone special to me," I continued. "If I didn't do anything, you would've left me behind. I figured the best way to gain your trust was to tell you my past."

He didn't say anything, but I wasn't nervous. This shouldn't have been too much of a surprise. Now he just had to figure out what he felt about me. He must have at least liked and trusted me if he was willing to involve me. I wanted to know how much he liked me, if he would trust his life in my hands. I liked him more than anything in the world and I would jump off a cliff if he told me to.

Kensei opened his mouth, but closed it before he said anything. I looked at him, expectant.

"You're special to me, too, so don't get yourself killed," Kensei muttered before walking faster. I almost had to run to catch up to him. I couldn't see his expression, but his words alone made me feel euphoric. I smiled and resisted the urge to hug the man.

I wasn't sure where these feelings would lead me, but I didn't care where as long as Kensei was beside me every step of the way.

**

* * *

**

**A/N: Yes, I decided to continue this. There will probably be another chapter or two, actually. This started out as a very simple idea that would span two chapters at most, but it grew and grew until I have at least four chapter ideas rolling around in my head. Though, updates might be a little scarce from this point on. I leave for 2 ½ weeks on Thursday, so I'll have to rush and get the next chapter out before then if I want to update within the next 2-3 weeks. Pray to the Muses and wish me luck!**


	3. Chapter Tres

It had only been a week or so since the meeting and I was already feeling restless. I was walking home from school, thankful that the semester was going to end soon. The days of just waiting for something to happen were piling up. I knew that I could handle both school and the plans against Aizen, but Kensei and the others were hesitant to give me too much responsibility. Perhaps they didn't trust me enough. True, I used to be Tousen's golden-child, but that was over and done with. I thought that was clear.

It was a sunny day, but I was going to spend it cooped up in Karakura Sports. I wasn't complaining, though. Any time with Kensei is time well spent. I had to make a pit stop at home first, so I was on my way to my apartment when I heard a car pull up behind me.

My body instantly reacted and I stopped, tense. I slowly turned around, hoping that I was merely overreacting. No such luck. Two men dressed in black suits were getting out of a (you guessed it) inconspicuous black car. I recognized the emblem on the left chest pocket immediately.

"Mr. Tousen has business with you. Get in the car," one of the men ordered.

I was good at fighting. Really good. Tousen must not have realized that when he decided to send only two henchmen. If I wanted to, I could beat them to a bloody pulp and walk away.

I wasn't going to do that. I wanted to know what Tousen called me for. He might have wanted to tie up loose ends and make peace. Or maybe he heard that I was working with Kensei and the others and he wanted to coherence me into revealing their plans. If that was the case, I would get as much information out of the blind man as I could without divulging anything of my own. I probably wouldn't be in too much danger, since Tousen and I had a past between us. He wouldn't hurt me.

I got in the car and one of the men sat next to me in the back seat. He towered over me, but he was all muscle. No brain. They didn't even blindfold me.

The drive was short and fast. Mr. Muscles #2 had a thing for speed. It was a testament of Tousen's power when we weren't pulled over for a speeding ticket. We stopped in front of a luxurious hotel. No doubt Tousen didn't want me anywhere near his home.

I was trying to calm myself down as we got in the elevator. I was going to see Tousen and ask him all the questions that had run through my mind ever since he abandoned me. I planned out exactly what I was going to say and how I was going to make Tousen realize that he made a huge mistake. All my preparations went to waste, though, as soon as I walked through a doorway and saw Tousen sitting on an expensive couch.

He was sitting there calmly, no expression on his face like usual. Hands folded in his lap. I would have been overcome with nostalgia if I wasn't too busy trying to quell the anger boiling inside me. This was the person who made me dependant on him only to leave me for the vultures.

I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself down. I could get through this.

"Good evening, Shuuhei," Tousen greeted. Polite like always. Well, I wasn't going to give him the same courtesy.

"Tousen." I sat down on a couch across from him.

He must have realized that I wasn't in the mood for formalities, since he cut the courteous act.

"You should know why you're here. Let's not waste time and start our discussion." I nod and quickly glance around the room. There's a tape recorder partially hidden on the side of the table. So, wanting to make peace wasn't the reason why I was called. Tousen wanted information. I then understood that this might have been a little more dangerous than I initially thought.

Tousen leaned forward and even though he was blind, I could feel him following my every movement. "It's come to my knowledge that you are fraternizing with Kensei Muguruma, Shinji Hirako, Love Aikawa, Mashiro Kuna, and surely you know who else I am speaking of. I would like you to tell me-"

"I refuse to answer any of your questions until you answer mine," I interrupt. I wasn't going to let him even finish that sentence.

"Don't be foolish. Didn't I teach you to proceed with caution? Now think clearly about your choices."

I wanted to roll my eyes. Tousen needed to figuratively open his eyes and see that the world didn't revolve around him and Aizen. That there is something beyond power and calculations. I discovered that when Kensei appeared in my life again. I stopped analyzing every single thing around me and started to actually enjoy living.

"I'm the one with vital information," I responded. "You need me and I don't need anything from you. My questions are merely out of curiosity. If you don't adhere to my wish, then you're going to lose a valuable lead."

I had him. Tousen may have been corrupting himself, but he was still a businessman that knew how to compromise. Though, he wasn't going to answer anything he didn't want to.

"I taught you well," he said after a few moments. "What do you want to know?"

"Why did you try to our company?"

Tousen smirked. "The company is corrupt. President Yamamoto doesn't hesitate to overrun businesses and work people to _exhaustion and death_. I joined Aizen because I'm going to destroy a threat to humanity."

_ Threat to humanity_. Tousen didn't care about humanity; if he did he wouldn't have joined Aizen. _Exhaustion and death_. I had once heard that Tousen's wife had a business that had rivaled ours. I didn't know when she died, but it was due to stress. So that's it then. Tousen blamed her death on his previous employers; as if they were the ones that drove her to work herself to death.

I was severally disappointed. That was the reason why Tousen betrayed me. Did I ever matter to him at all? Did he only train me as a pawn that he later deiced wasn't the effort to use after all? I tasted something foul in the back of my throat. My mentor turned out to be such a shallow man.

"What about the people you hurt? The people who lost their jobs. Aizen is a criminal, you must know that already," I pleaded, hoping to find some salvation in him. Some small amount of guilt.

He didn't even flinch. "Sacrifices need to be made."

I almost jolted out of my seat. I was sure my expression wasn't calm or collected, but I was past the point of caring. I was seething. Furious. I couldn't believe that I once respected this man. I once considered that I could show Tousen he was wrong, but now I wondered whether Tousen was beyond saving.

"Sacrifice?" I almost yelled. "Aizen will do even worse than our company ever did!"

"I would rather put power in Aizen's hands than place it back in theirs," Tousen said slowly, his voice becoming like steel. I fought the urge to spit at his feet.

"So this is all due to a petty grudge? I'm disgusted," I hissed. I didn't want to hate Tousen, but that was becoming a possibility. If I had the right words to say, maybe he would've stopped this charade. But all I could think of was how much I wanted to punch the man in front of me. "You're the one who taught me that people shouldn't use their power for their own agendas! That we should gain control over our power to keep others from abusing it! What happened to that? You're using your power for revenge!"

It was time to calm down, but at the moment I couldn't fathom the idea. Tousen was just sitting there, like what I was saying didn't matter at all. I wanted to jump up and shake some sense back into the fool.

Finally, Tousen sighed and waved his hand. "It's a pity you won't cooperate," he said. Two pairs of hands grasped my shoulders. I looked up and saw the two henchmen from earlier. "Calm down and see the truth in my words."

The two men dragged me off the couch and towards the doorway. I tried to break out of their grasp, so that I could talk to Tousen some more, but I realized that it would be useless. Tousen wouldn't listen to reason. I was yanked out of the room. The door shut with a light click.

It was then that I recognized the danger I was in. The men weren't letting go. I didn't know what they were planning, but I wasn't going to stick around and find out. I let them lead me down the hall, away from Tousen's hotel room. We went around a corner. Five minutes later I was in the elevator. Alone. I had wiped all the blood on my fists off on the black suits.

Tousen must not have cared enough to learn the extent of my fighting skills; probably assumed that he was as weak as he thought I was. His mistake.

I knew the part of town I was in. It took a while, but after hours of switching buses and doubling back in my tracks to throw off any stalkers, I made it Karakura Sports. I didn't dare go back to Kensei's hide out, just in case someone was able to follow me.

I sent Kensei a quick text and then stood by the front door, waiting for him to arrive.

My mind was reeling. I didn't know what to think. Tousen didn't live up to my expectations. The anger from before had melted away into something more like pity. Pity for both Tousen and I. He was living only a shadow of a life and I had basked in that shadow for far too long.

I heard footsteps and I cut my thoughts short. I looked up and saw more people than I expected. Along with Kensei were Shinji, Hiyori, and Lisa. It was then that I realized how suspicious my actions were. The new recruit meeting with the enemy. All eight probably would have come if it wasn't too conspicuous.

"What were you doing with Tousen?" Hiyori snapped as soon as she was close enough. "If you told him anything, I'll rip your tongue out!"

A ticked off Hiyori is scary, but a furious Hiyori is downright terrifying. I held my hands up and tried to think of words to defend myself. I looked to the others for some reassurance. Lisa was glaring, sizing me up and Shinji had that eerie, serious look on his face that could mean anything. Shit. I really didn't think ahead when I got into that stupid car. My tongue was tied and I couldn't think of anything to say that would get me out of this mess.

"Stop it," Kensei broke in, stepping in between me and my three possible assassins. "Whatever you're saying is impossible because I know Shuuhei and Shuuhei would never betray us. Now calm down and think about the shit you're spitting out."

Something clicked inside me. I was staring at Kensei's back and for the first time in a while I felt completely safe. I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in the space between his shoulders. Breathe in his scent and reassure myself that he would always be there. He turned around and grinned at me and nothing ever meant more to me than that smile.

I loved this man. 'Special' didn't cut it anymore. I wanted him to protect me, hold me. I imagined his lips, his tongue, the hard planes of his body and I couldn't keep the heated feeling from spreading from my fingertips to my toes.

"You only knew him for three months," Hiyori snapped back. "How'd you know he's not a spy or somethin'? He went to _Tousen's_ hotel!"

"Kensei, this could be a trap," Lisa added.

Great, now they're back to the talking-like-I'm-not-there thing again. The pleasant warm feeling was disintegrating away with their accusations and that put me in a kind of foul mood.

"Look, I'm not working with Tousen, okay? I only went there to sate my curiosity, which I now see was a very bad idea and a waste of my time. You can question me all you want, but I'll tell you now that he didn't tell me anything important. If you don't know already, Tousen's the asshole that betrayed me and all of you, and I have a mighty big bone to pick with him. I refused all his offers and I now see that it's time to take him and Aizen down. Now, do you want my help or not? 'Cause even if the guy disgusts me, I'm not going to entirely willing to help out if you keep blaming me of being a spy every chance you got." Wow, that was a doozey. And I didn't any part of the last half. I would rather get on my knees and beg than walk away from Kensei. But my emotions were running a little high and my mouth just didn't seem to stop talking.

"Whoa there," Shinji said, holding his hands up. "We're just concerned, that's all. It's not like we don't trust you. You know how heated Hiyori gets."

Hiyori grumbled in the background and I nodded, feeling a little embarrassed about the whole thing.

In the end, everyone decided that I wasn't Tousen's Dark Minion. They probably didn't believe that I was in the first place. It's just that tensions tend to run high when dealing with archnemeses. Tempers cooled down and we all discussed what to do next. First and foremost was getting back to their apartment building without being followed. I told them that I'd explain everything that happened with Tousen as soon as we got back.

Hiyori, Shinji, and Lisa went to search the perimeter to make sure I wasn't followed, leaving Kensei and I alone for a few minutes. We just stood in silence, since words weren't unnecessary at the moment. I looked up at Kensei and he glanced down at me. Our eyes met. He didn't look away, just grinned like he was promising to be my shelter against any form of danger.

I will never love anyone as much as I loved him.

**

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**

**A/N: Okay, I kind of rushed to get this out in time so sorry if there are awkward sentences/grammar mistakes that I didn't catch. I actually wanted to get a lot more written, but this chapter just seemed to take forever (and I didn't get to write much Ken/Shuu either **** . Sorry if you didn't like having almost an entire chapter devoted to Tousen, but I felt like I had to write it…). Anyway, I hope you liked this even though there's not much romance until the very end. The next chapter will be Ken/Shuu HEAVY so just sit tight for 2 ½ weeks and I'll be back with another chapter **


	4. Chapter Quattuor

It didn't take long for Hiyori, Shinji, and Lisa to come back and confirm that I wasn't followed. We didn't go straight back to their apartment. Better safe than sorry. We broke up into small groups and took separate routes. Kensei and I were alone as we walked.

We went at a leisurely pace. We didn't speak for a while, just took random paths and kept on the lookout for suspicious behavior. There was a serene quality to it and I soon found my thoughts drifting.

I couldn't get what Tousen had said out of my mind. I had believed in Tousen, respected him. Based my morals off his words. Yet he claimed that all he cared for was revenge. That had to be impossible. The mentor I trusted had to be there, somewhere under the filth.

"It'd be safer if you live with us from now on. Or if someone was with you most of the time. Tousen already snatched you off the street once," Kensei said.

I kept my gaze straight ahead as I answered. "I can handle myself. I only went with them because I had some unanswered questions."

"And what a great idea that was," Kensei muttered. "Next time he's not going to send two lackeys. They'll bring you back in a body bag if they have to."

I grimaced at the thought. I didn't think Tousen would order something like that, but "sacrifices have to be made" kept circling in my mind. I had been one of those sacrifices from the very beginning.

"What do you suggest?" I finally yielded.

"Either you at least sleep at our place and have someone escort you to and from school or you sleep in your apartment and get a high-tech security system and go everywhere carrying a concealable weapon," Kensei stated in that no-nonsense tone that destroyed every notion of argument.

Well, just thinking of sleeping in the same building as Kensei sent shivers down my spine, but I could easily do without being _escorted_. Oh well. Win some lose some.

"Who's going to escort me?" I would've rather it not be Mashiro. Or Shinji. Or Hiyori. Rose would draw attention… It would make my day if Kensei volunteered, but I couldn't be greedy.

"I haven't decided yet." He was probably just now realizing that almost every member of his 'family' would make this a disaster. "Anyway, we'll move your necessities in tonight."

I wanted to think that Kensei wanted me to move in for reasons other than safety. That, though, was very, very unlikely. Someone like Kensei, who was about 100% testosterone, would not go for a kid like me who wouldn't be able to keep up; just mitigating the situation between him and Mashiro exhausted me. If anything, he thought of me as a little brother or friend. That was something I wanted to change, but felt more and more impossible as time went on. He never treated me any differently from anyone else. It was hopeless and yet I still followed him around like a lovesick puppy.

The weight of the day hit me and my body felt like it was full of cement. I felt my eyes start to burn. My nails bit into my palms as I kept the emotions at bay. I was not going to break down in front of Kensei. I wouldn't allow myself to.

"Hey, Shuu- Huh? What with that pitiful face?" I couldn't bear to look at Kensei. I rubbed my eyes, knowing I couldn't pass it off as just being tired. I must have looked as pathetic as I felt. Used by a man I trusted and now betraying the trust of a man I loved. He already knew that he was special to me, but to what extent? I wondered what Kensei would do if I told him my true feelings for him. Probably be disgusted, push me away- "Sure, it's been a hard day. Just be strong and thankful that you're back with us."

I laughed, although every part of me was aching. I loved this man, even if it hurt.

"You know, you said almost the same exact words to me several years ago," I said once I got my breath back. I pushed all thoughts of loving Kensei out of my mind. I was good at fooling myself into thinking I was okay for the moment. Of course, it will all come back to me as soon as I was alone, but it was a price I was willing to pay at the moment.

Kensei looked confused. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. You saved me from drowning about seven or eight years ago." I saw recognition light up on Kensei's face before it soured.

"You're not hanging around me 'cause of some hero-complex, are you?" he asked with a twinge of bitterness.

I chuckled, trying to take both our minds off my pitiable display. "It was like that at first, but I quickly realized you aren't the knight-in-shining-armor-type."

"Damn straight," Kensei muttered.

I smiled. "I learned about the real you and the more I knew you, the more I liked who you really are."

I stopped talking, a little worried. I'd said plenty more incriminating things in the past, but my newfound insecurity made my tongue twist into knots. Would he finally sneer at me, realizing that I had ulterior motives in mind? It was a wonder why he put up with me in the first place, or how I became special and earned his trust. Oh yeah, I was supposed to ignore these trains of thoughts.

Kensei was quiet for a moment and I waited breathlessly. "You caused me a lot of trouble that day, you know that?" Kensei said. "Shinji mocked me as soon as I walked into the building soaking wet and he didn't stop until sundown. If I didn't have some extra clothes in my desk…" He trailed off sullenly and I fought back a sigh. Just like Kensei; withholding his real feelings at a critical moment.

"I'm sorry?" I offered, a grin sneaking through. Kensei just rolled his eyes and kept walking. I followed, watching his broad back sway.

As I thought about it –again forgetting that I wasn't supposed to-, my earlier almost-meltdown seemed silly. Sure, I held a torch for a man who most likely wouldn't appreciate my feelings, but it wasn't like my entire life was free of misery. I was Shuuhei Hisagi, probably one of the best businessmen at my age. I could deal with this, just like I dealt with everything else that went wrong in my life. I would make the most of my situation. If that meant pretending to only think of Kensei as a friend and waiting until my feelings subsided, then so be it. I could put all thoughts of loving Kensei out of my mind and be there for him as a friend. In time I would get over my feelings and move on. That would be the best solution for everyone, my own interests aside.

I watched Kensei and thought back to the past few months. He'd shown sides to me not many people had seen. I knew his likes, dislikes, moods, and temper. I was family to him and that thought brought me up as quickly as it brought me back down. Yes, it was definitely better to stop this. I was turning into a mess.

"Hey, Kensei," I started, walking quickly to catch up. It was better to get thoughts that may hold me back out of the way before I started my emotional lock-down. He glanced at me, waiting for me to go on. "Um, I just wanted to say thanks. For sticking up for me when everyone else wanted to blame me." I'd say _thank you_, he'd just roll his eyes, and I could move on.

Kensei nodded. "It's 'cause I trust you."

He just had to say something like that.

I fought the flushing of my cheeks and tried to calm my heart beat. I already knew Kensei trusted me, but hearing him say it out loud was something different altogether. Kensei is not someone who usually confides his feelings and he never outright says something so intimate.

"Don't listen to them if they start to nag," he continued. "I'll back you up if they try to pull anymore shit."

Well, my plan's out the window. I couldn't help but stare at Kensei, my heart lurching. Despite all my practice and skills, there was no way I could fake my feelings for him. They were too strong; I would sooner break down from emotional pain than succeed in convincing anyone that I only thought of Kensei as a friend.

I wanted to kiss him. Hug him. I wanted to do so many things I knew I couldn't. I just watched him, hoping that sometime I could act on my feelings before they grew too strong to bear.

**

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**

Time passed quickly. Winter break was over before I knew it and I spent every free moment with Kensei and the others. Helping them plan, organize data, stop potential homicides; just the usual. Living with Kensei was a great thought, but the situation was virtually the same as before. I never found the chance or time to act on my desire. Weeks later and I was still faultlessly playing the role as the perfect younger brother/friend.

Or, at least I thought I was.

"It's obvious you love him," Lisa said out-of-the-blue when we were both on kitchen duty.

I almost dropped the plate I was washing.

"Huh?" Did I hear her right?

Lisa sighed and took the plate out of my hand. "You're such a lousy actor when emotions are involved. Everyone can see that you adore Kensei." She held her hand up to silence me when I began to speak. "Before you ask, it doesn't bother anyone. In fact, we're all betting on the outcome."

I flushed, horrified. I was that obvious? Did Kensei notice. Oh gods, if he knew my feelings all this time and I just went on like a fool-

"As I was saying; it's obvious you love him, so get a move on it already. I'm tired of watching you act like a moron." And probably make her lose the bet.

I must have opened and closed my mouth ten times before my mind decided to grace me with its presence.

"Do you think Kensei knows?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper.

"I told you it was obvious."

Shit. Shitshitshitshitshitshit.

He hadn't been treating me any differently. Maybe he was choosing to ignore my feelings for the time being, waiting for me to confess before he did anything so that he wouldn't embarrass me. Or he could just have ignored my apparently obvious love for him out of disgust, hoping I would move on.

I was so screwed.

Lisa and I finished washing the dishes in silence. She must have realized my inner turmoil and got some sick pleasure out of it. Or she could have left me to my thoughts out of courtesy. Great, now my mind was completely messed up and I couldn't tell one thing from the next.

I knew I would be like this until I confronted Kensei about my love for him. I didn't want to. I really didn't want to, but Tousen always said that hesitation could ruin everything. Throwing caution into the wind, I walked straight towards Kensei's office after my dishwashing duty was done.

My resolve quickly lost steam as soon as I exited the kitchen door. It felt as though everyone was staring at me, knowing that I was about to make a fool of myself. I started to realize exactly how stupid I was being, going in without a plan. Though, by the time I was starting to talk myself out of it, I was already knocking on Kensei's office/bedroom/large-closet door.

"What?" He did not sound happy. I almost walked away right then, but I hated to quit anything. In order to preserve my damn pride, I opened the door and walked in.

"Kensei," I started as I stepped into the small room. Kensei looked up, a grimace on his face.

"What is it? I'm busy," he muttered before turning back to his computer. I adjusted my stance so I could catch a glimpse of the screen.

"You're looking at motorcycles," I snapped. "Surely that can wait ten minutes." Bossy Shuuhei; ON.

Kensei already wasn't in a good mood and my power display surely didn't help. However, I couldn't back down. If I wasn't pushy, Kensei wouldn't answer my questions.

"You-" Kensei started, but I cut him off.

"Kensei, what we have here is a failure to communicate." I was hoping that a reference to one of his favorite movies would help smooth things over, but his hard glare told me otherwise. "Anyway," I said quickly, hoping to hide my nervousness, "we have to get some things straight."

Comprehension seemed to dawn on Kensei's features. "What 'things'?" Kensei almost spat, probably hoping that I wasn't going to go where we both knew I was.

"Do you know…" I swallowed and took a deep breath. Okay, calm down, Shuuhei. You can do this. Sure, your relationship with Kensei is resting on his reaction, but that's no big deal. Yeah right. It's settled. I was the world's biggest idiot. How could I have been so moronic, walking into this room on impulse? Everything was going to fall apart. Of course, there was no turning back now. We both knew that I'd opened this can of worms. "Do you know exactly what my feelings for you are?"

Kensei stayed silent, his face set into a hard mask. I waited for him to speak.

Minutes went by and nothing passed between us. Kensei didn't move an inch, just stared at me. The look in his eyes unraveled my nerves. Like he was judging me, waiting for some answer. I wanted to shift my feet, do something with my hands, look away, anything to distract myself. I'd never been through something like this before. I didn't know what to do. No one taught me how to handle this.

"Are you going to answer my question?" I finally snapped, losing my patience.

Kensei lowered his eyes, his features softening. Whatever it was, Kensei discovered the answer to his question.

"I was trying to decide whether I could love a brother like a lover," he replied, his gaze meeting mine. I swallowed and found that my throat was too dry.

"Can you?" I almost whispered.

He didn't say anything for a few moments, just fixed his eyes on mine. I couldn't read his expression. I didn't like this- I didn't like the way this was going. This was a mistake. I should've just went back into the living room and-

"No."

The word left his mouth and I barely heard it. Something lurched within me and I suddenly felt the need to throw up. So this was it? I knew it. I knew it, but I allowed myself to hope. How stupid. How incredibly stupid.

I turned and left the office. I didn't pay attention to the seven sets of eyes on me as I walked out of the apartment. I might've called out to everyone, said that I was going out to get a few groceries. I didn't remember what exactly happened, but I could never forget the dull ache in my chest and the tears I swore to never cry.

**

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**

It almost felt like cheating, but everything went back to normal. After the rejection, I came back to the apartment, carrying a shopping bag filled with milk, eggs, and cheese. No one said anything to me. I put the groceries away and started to talk to Love about a file on a casino Aizen owned. It was a stale conversation, but it got everyone to stop treating me like I was going to break. Lisa didn't meet my eye; I wasn't sure whether to be bitter or grateful.

Kensei didn't show his face all night.

It's easier to block out negative emotions than positive. For several years I had ignored the pain inside me. I was good at that. It was also the only reason why I wasn't a pitiful pile of tears. I pushed every thought of Kensei out of my mind.

I was rejected, but that didn't mean I was cast out. I was in too deep. All I had to do was get over my crush so Kensei would be able to smile at me again. A few weeks before I had come to the conclusion that I couldn't fake my feelings for Kensei. I was wrong. I hadn't had the proper motivation. Now everything I had with Kensei was on the line. There was absolutely no other option. I had to give up. I had to go back to being the friend.

The days didn't pass quickly anymore. In fact, each hour was excruciating. Somehow, everything reminded me of Kensei. The universe seemed hell-bent on keeping me infatuated with the man. It was torture. I couldn't count how many times I cradled my head in my hands and just wished that I had never walked into Karakura Sports that day. How much easier would life be in I went job hunting instead of accompanying Renji.

I wanted to blame Kensei, but I knew it was my fault. I didn't plan beforehand and sprang a decision on Kensei without a moment's notice. I even believed that I had a chance. Kensei was older than me, more mature, and as far as I knew, completely straight. I came close to bashing my head against the wall countless times.

Though, even though I blamed myself, I couldn't be around Kensei for very long. I barely spoke to him. Just seeing the man made my mouth dry and my stomach drop. It hurt too much. Maybe, after a while, I would be able to look him in the eye.

**

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**

School had been back in session for a few weeks and I was sitting on the stairs with my friends during lunch. We occupied our usual corner on the two-level staircase which was virtually unused. It was normally a safe-haven from the boisterous student body, but for the past week that was lost on me.

"Shuu, you have to stop this moping soon; it's going to make any pretty you have left rot away," Yumichika told me while I was staring into space. My lunch was uneaten in front of me.

"What do you mean 'moping'?" I snapped. I had been careful to act normal…

"We can tell when something's wrong with you," Renji added. He leaned in close and I scooted further away. The last thing I needed was an intervention. I handled my problems on my own. That's how I was.

"Let's beat it out of him," Ikkaku suggested.

"Will you all stop it?" I grounded out. These people were my friends, but at the moment I wanted to kill them.

"Hisagi," Kira muttered. I glanced at him. For some reason I could never get angry at Kira. "We're just worried about you."

"This is just how you acted when Tousen ditched you." Renji, did you _ever_ learn when to stop talking?

I was about to hit the redheaded idiot, but Yumichika beat me to it.

"It's true!" Renji persisted. He pointed at me and I wanted to cut off the offending finger. "We didn't say anything last time and I know he never got over it. I'm not going to sit around this time."

I knew he had a point, but that didn't mean I had to acknowledge it.

"He's right, you know," Kira said after a while. I stared at my sandwich. "Letting you torment yourself isn't going to do anything but make you worse. We know you like to keep everything to yourself, but you have friends for a reason."

Friends. I knew that they would always have my back, but I still didn't want to trust them with it. I was messed up and had trust issues. I could admit that.

"You can trust us, Shuuhei," Renji said, slapping me on the shoulder. "Just tell us how we can help."

They trusted me, just like Kensei did. Even when Kensei knew that I loved him, he trusted me. I knew that he would always keep me safe, but I always doubted his feelings towards me. Kensei might have sensed that and refused to share his heart with someone who couldn't deal with it. Maybe I should have just had faith that he felt the same way I did.

I wasn't going to get any consolation if I kept pretending. When I confronted Kensei, I was hiding behind my doubt. I never really gave him a choice; all he could see was that I didn't believe in his feelings for me. If I could've done it again, I would've said outright that I loved him and asked him directly if he loved me back. It might've ended the same way, but it would have given me consolation. I knew then what I had to do.

I couldn't help but laugh. Leave it to my bunch of crazy, wild friends to make me face my fears, even if they didn't know it.

"You already helped me enough," I offered them.

They all looked skeptical, but I just smiled. I knew they trusted me. It was my turn to show that I trusted them.

"Really, I'm going to fix this as soon as possible. If you see me slipping, feel free to beat me back to my senses."

Hey, Kensei. I'm not doubting you anymore. I'm not going to let you say _no_ again.

**

* * *

**

**A/N: Hey! I'm back from my vacation! I put some drama in this chapter, and yes, the plot goes beyond Shuu's private epiphanies. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Btw, I'd love to hear how I'm doing **


	5. Chapter Veeeeeee

School couldn't have passed any slower. Sitting in class listening to a teacher drone on some metaphor seemed like a waste of time when my love life was on the line. However, it's like I was genetically programmed to not skip class so I ended up continuing to drive myself crazy until the end of the school day.

I practically ran home, eager to set things straight with Kensei. To see whether his rejection was due to my obvious uncertainty or his true feelings. If he really didn't want our relationship to go beyond friendship, then at least I would have peace of mind. I was planning to go straight to Kensei, but fate regrettably had other ideas. I was halfway home when my day took a turn for the worst.

"Hey, Shuuhei!" came from the mouth of someone I realllllly didn't want to talk to at the moment. I considered just pretending like I didn't hear him, but that would only result in a barrage of bitter accusations.

"Hey… Shinji," I replied, hoping the reluctance didn't show in my voice. Shinji was frowning, the usual beret hanging perilously off the side of his head. He was dressed better than usual, but still sported those tight pants an adult like him had no business wearing. His eyes narrowed and I had a bad feeling about where this was going to lead.

Shinji heaved a sigh and ruffled my hair with a sullen look on his face. "Even you are starting to turn against me!" he bemoaned.

"Uh, I don't know what you're talking about?" I offered. An eye roll later and Shinji was back to his normal, cheerful self. It boggled my mind how he could switch personalities so quickly. Hiyori, Kensei, and the rest were like that, too. I probably was as well.

"Anyway, Shuuhei," Shinji drawled, slinging his arm over my shoulder. He was almost uncomfortably close, but it was never any use trying to push him off. "What's going on in your life?" I was almost flattered that he was concerned for my well being, until he had to open his mouth again: "How's Rangiku nowadays? Bring her over-"

I smacked the perverted expression off his face. A few months before, I never would have dreamed of hitting someone so randomly, but Hiyori was rubbing off on me. "If it was up to me, you would walk around blindfolded in order to protect the virtue of women everywhere," I scolded before continuing onwards.

"I knew it! They're getting to you! And to think only a few weeks ago you were…" I droned out Shinji's ranting, knowing it would come to an end in a few moments.

He lost interest quickly when he realized I wasn't paying attention and his pity-me-face molded into a suspicious grin.

"Shuu-chan…" This wasn't going to be good. "Let's have some fun."

Yeah. Right.

"Sorry, Shinji, but my afternoon is completely-"

I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence. Shinji grabbed my elbow and forcefully dragged me over to the hideously purple car Shinji had fallen in love with and consequently bought. I didn't want to get in. I also didn't have any choice in the matter. Less than thirty seconds later, I was strapped into a leather seat and Shinji slammed on the gas pedal.

Renji liked to drive fast. Kensei liked to drive fast. I liked to drive fast. Shinji liked to drive like a lunatic.

"Whoops, almost hit that old granny. Shuuhei, be my eyes while I try to find my cell phone."

"Hey, Shuu? What's the speed limit here? Oh well, doesn't matter anyway."

So on and so on until we were parked outside our apartment. I stumbled out of the car, dizzy and unable to see straight. My legs were like jelly. Turns that almost make the car roll over and sudden stop-and-goes tend to do that to a person. While I was trying to regain control of my body, Shinji hauled me into the building and up the flight of stairs. I was still kind of out of it when Shinji pushed me through the apartment door.

"I got him! Now tie him up while he's still woozy," Shinji yelled into the seemingly empty room. Before I had a chance to get my bearings, I felt three pairs of hands that appeared out of thin air yank me away from Shinji and into a wooden chair. I couldn't believe it when I felt ropes tighten around my wrists and legs. We were in the living room, the few beige couches and cheap tv staring innocently at the display of my capture.

"W-what are you doing?" I demanded when the final rope was in place. This was crazy! I looked up from my place in the chair. I saw four figures silhouetted in the suddenly bright room. Shinji, Lisa, Mashiro… "Rose, even you!" I could understand the other three doing something this stupid, but I always thought Rose to be at least more mature than them.

Rose sighed and flipped his blonde hair. "I must defend my sense of beauty," he stated simply.

_Beauty?_

Then I saw the box of makeup supplies on the coffee table. Surely they wouldn't-

"We're going to give Shuuhei a makeover!" Mashiro squealed. Oh lord.

Lisa placed a finger over my lips before I could speak. "Be quiet. Nothing you can say will dissuade us."

"Why?" I almost screamed. "Why on _earth_ would you want to do this?

"It started when Lisa was reading one of her porno mags," Shinji started to explain. "She was all like," he took a deep breath, "_Ew, this girl looks like she just walked through a paintball fight-_" he imitated in an insanely high voice before Lisa hit him over the head.

"I don't sound like that," she snapped.

"And then Love said that the porno-girl was probably uglier without the makeup on," Shinji continued.

"Wait, Love is in on this, too?" Was everyone against me?

"Yeah, he's keeping Kensei busy," Lisa answered. "Hiyori and Hacchi are out doing investigating something or another."

"Anyway," Shinji said, eager to continue. "Rose then said that anyone could do a better makeup job than that even on such an ugly face. Then Lisa said that sometimes it's just hopeless. Then Rose said that anyone could look more beautiful with some 'artfully applied' makeup, so-"

"I challenged him," Lisa finished.

"I happened to overhear," Shinji went on. "I said that we should have Rose do a makeover on someone and see if they look better before or after. And you just happened to walk by at that moment. I suggested you and both Lisa and Rose agreed."

I stared at the three of them. They didn't look shamed or guilty at all. I always knew they were crazy. But why did it have to be me? Oh yeah, anyone else in our 'family' would murder them.

I turned to Mashiro, who was strangely silent throughout the explanation. She was sitting on the arm of a couch, kicking her feet happily. She perked up when she saw me looking at her. "Me?" she wondered, pointing a finger at herself. "I saw them getting ready and wanted to help make Shuu-chan pretty!"

"Now," Rose said, clapping his hands together. "Let's get started."

I wanted to resist, but I knew they would get their way in the end. Sometimes men just had to grin and bear it, though a cloud of doom quickly started to form in my mind. I watched in horror as Rose came closer, armed with a tweezer.

"I thought you said this was about makeup," I said wearily, tilting my head away from the torture device.

"How can I do anything with such misshapen eyebrows?"

**

* * *

**

It was unpleasant. Extremely unpleasant. Weird cream was smeared on my skin. Powder was all over my face. My eyes were prodded, eyelashes pulled, eyebrows plucked. I didn't want to even see what I looked like; I was sure I looked like a sad clown.

Throughout my _makeover_, Mashiro was her normal excitable self. Lisa looked more put off as time went on. Shinji never ceased laughing his ass off. Rose's level or smugness increased at an insane rate. They were soooo not getting away with this.

I didn't have to wait long for divine intervention. Rose was plastering my lips with lipstick when the door burst open.

All four of them snapped their heads around. Their bodies blocked my view, but whoever was standing in the doorway scared three of them shitless.

"I couldn't stop him," I heard Love explain. "He got suspicious."

A moment later Shinji, Lisa, Love, and Rose were out of the apartment. Mashiro just giggled and patted my head before skipping past Kensei. Meanwhile, I was still stuck in the chair, wishing that I could disappear.

My shirt was ruffled, pants clinging to uncomfortable places, and I had _makeup _all over my _face_. I could feel heat rising to my face and my mouth opened and closed like a fish. Kensei stared at me, his expression furious. If I was in my right mind, I would've noticed how hot he looked in his tight tank top and low-rising cargo pants, but my thoughts were understandably elsewhere.

"What did they do to you?" Kensei muttered mostly to himself. He walked over to me and I tried to think of a thousand ways to save myself from total humiliation. I usually let things like this roll of my shoulders, but this was Kensei, the man I was completely in love with and who rejected me only a week before.

Kensei bent down until he was eye level to me. My heart was beating out of my chest. He was looking at me so intently.

"Is it really horrible?" I finally managed to croak. The silence was unbearable.

Kensei smirked. _Smirked_. It was the first almost-positive expression he had given me all week. It made my gut clench.

He held up a mirror that was conveniently left on the coffee table and I almost gasped. Rose didn't do a half-bad job, objectively speaking. My skin tone was continuous, even the scars were less noticeable. My eyebrows didn't look feminine, just less messy. The eye shadow, mascara, and eyeliner looked pretty natural. Though, the pink lipstick was a little odd. However 'good' the makeup made me look, it didn't change the fact that I was a man and I really didn't like having power and cosmetics all over my face. Not to mention that the man I was in love with had to see me in such a ridiculous position.

Kensei started to untie me. I couldn't look him in the eye, so I stared at his shoulder. "Thank you," I said, my voice a careful even tone. "Sorry you had to get caught up in my mess." It hurt talking to him. I didn't see his expression, but his hands stilled on the ropes.

"Of course I'd stop something so stupid," Kensei responded gruffly.

Silence stretched between us and it was worse than awkward conversation.

"Apparently this entire thing started because of Lisa's porn," I blurted out. Once again, this man made me crack under pressure. "Even for them, it's a strange reason."

Kensei was almost done untying me. "Love didn't do a very good job distracting me," Kensei said.

"That's odd. Love's usually very competent," I noted. It was strange talking to Kensei again after a week of silence between us. It was a dull, crafted conversation. This wasn't Kensei and I having a conversation; it was Kensei and I filling the silence with something less dreary.

"It's suspicious," Kensei muttered, pulling the ropes away.

_Suspicious _it was. If they wanted Kensei and me to be alone together, they could've done something that didn't involve makeup. Though, maybe they wanted to punish me a little for making everything complicated. The tension between Kensei and I could be cut like butter.

Kensei backed away and I stood up, still staring at his muscular shoulder.

"You should get cleaned up," he said before turning to walk away.

What happened to my determination? I was planning to confront Kensei, but I was letting him walk away again. I really was a coward. Shinji and the others must've realized this and put me in a situation where I had to talk to Kensei. I was going to disappoint them.

I hated this. Failing the others, Kensei, and myself. At this rate, things were going to go back to the way they were. Kensei and I would avoid each other and I would continue to torture myself with thoughts of _what-if_. All I could see of Kensei was his broad back as he walked away.

"Kensei," I exhaled, reaching forward and grabbing his arm. He turned around, his expression guarded. I wouldn't falter this time. "Kensei," I said again with no room for argument. "We're going to talk."

Kensei frowned and I could feel his quickened pulse under my fingertips.

"Why don't you wash your face first," Kensei evaded. I shook my head, not giving him the chance to say _no_ again.

"You know we have to do this," I said. "Last time-" I swallowed, willing my heart beat to slow. "Last time, it should've gone differently. Now we're going to go back a week and fix what I messed up."

Kensei didn't say anything, just looked down at me with his grey eyes. I couldn't tell from his expression what he was thinking, but he wasn't refusing my request.

"Well," I said. Here it goes. I steeled myself and took a deep breath. "Kensei, I-I love you."

It felt so, so good saying that. It was like a burden was lifted from my chest and I could breathe again. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and I felt giddy. I finally l looked him in the eyes and saw them swimming with emotion. His mouth dropped open, stunned.

"I love you," I said again. "I loved you for a while. Last time I wanted to say this, but I didn't. I was too scared of your reaction. Whether that influenced your decision, I don't know." I exhaled, my legs trembling with excitement. "Kensei, do you really only love me as a brother?"

I gazed into Kensei's eyes and I could tell that he was torn between decisions. His hands were clenched into fists. He looked tense, more anxious than I had ever seen him.

"You were like a child," Kensei finally said. "A week ago, you were standing in my office, trembling and scared shitless. I realized that you were nothing more than a kid who could've confused admiration with love. How could I drag a kid into an adult relationship?"

Kensei was open and exposed, something I had never seen before. I would've melted at the thought that he was baring his heart for me, but my thoughts were clouded by a sudden burst of anger.

"Kid? _Kid?_" I shouted. "I've been through more than most people my age! I had steady jobs, been betrayed… Did you think that I've never been in a relationship before? I know how to kiss and love another person! I know my feelings better than anyone, there's no way I could ever mistake them. I'm eighteen; I _am_ an adult."

Kensei didn't move a muscle, just looked at me like he was trying to solve the world's problems. I became more nervous with each passing second. My speech could've had the opposite effect, making me seem even more childlike. I started to wonder how to make myself seem more mature, but stopped myself before I could expand on that thought. It was pointless trying to be anything other than myself and truthful with Kensei.

I looked Kensei in the eye and it was like tunnel vision. The rest of the room disappeared and all I could see was him. The way he was watching me, the obvious affection in his stare. The way his lips slightly parted and how his eyes narrowed. He was coming to a decision.

"I love you," I whispered again. "I love nothing more than you. Isn't my word good enough?"

A strong set of hands grabbed my arms, pulling me close to a strong chest. I could smell Kensei and I relaxed into his soft and hard body. I fit there perfectly.

"Of course it's good enough," Kensei whispered in my ear. His warm breath sent chills down my spine. "I haven't loved you like a brother in a very long time."

"I never loved you like a brother." I wrapped my arms around his torso, squeezing myself closer to him.

"Shuu, you don't know how long I've waited for you to say those words."

We've both waited too long. I smiled, burying my face into his shirt.

"We'll have to make up for lost time," I grinned. The arms tightened around me.

"Yeah, you better brace yourself."

I made a mental note to show Kensei that he had plenty of reason to brace _himself_.

"I love you," I said instead of whatever witty comeback I wanted to formulate.

"Me, too."

I felt complete. Kensei was finally mine and I would never let him go again. I was so happy that I forgot I was still wearing makeup and planted a pink kiss on Kensei's cheek.

**

* * *

**

**A/N: Ah, it felt so good finally writing this scene! (I hope everyone was in character...) Though, when I first started to write the chapter, I didn't plan on Shuu's voyage into the realm of cosmetics. It just happened that way. Not sure why. Blame my crazy brain. Anyways, I hoped you liked this chapter! I would lo~ve some feedback **** I'm experimenting with a slightly different writing style. I'm not sure how much longer this will be…we'll see how the inspiration hits me ;) **


	6. Chapter 6

** A/N: Sorry for the wait! I didn't have the energy to really go over an edit this chapter, so I hope there aren't any mistakes or awkward sentences!**

**XXX**

For the next few minutes, we sat on one of the couches, just talking. There was hardly any air between us. His hand rested on my thigh and I interlaced my fingers with his. The physical contact was a blessing after a week of distance. I never wanted to be apart from him again.

"This isn't an open relationship," Kensei said, looking at me with the softest expression I'd ever seen on his face. It was like I was the only person in his world. It was heaven.

"I know." I squeezed his hand, my mind still not able to comprehend that Kensei actually lovedme. I smiled to myself; this was _it_. This was what I was searching for my entire life. Someone that loved me and accepted me. Someone that wouldn't let me down.

I really wanted to kiss him. His lips were only a few inches away; I could've just leaned in and brushed-

"Shuuhei," Kensei started, more serious than before. "I'm not going to keep this a secret. Are you?"

I knew exactly what he was talking about. Shinji and the others would know about us immediately, but my friends were a different story. Despite their arrogant stupidness, my friends were abnormally perceptive when it came to my personal life. They would realize that something happened. I could either lie to them, or tell them that I was in a homosexual relationship with my childhood hero. The truth was hard to believe myself, but I had faith that they would accept my new relationship easily.

"I'm going to tell everyone the truth," I stated. I wasn't ashamed about my relationship with Kensei. "How do you think Shinji and the others will take it? I mean, how are we going to act around them?" I normally wasn't a fan of PDA, but I wouldn't mind showing off my hot studly boyfriend.

Kensei grinned one of his creepy-ass grins and squeezed my hand. I didn't want to know what he was thinking, so I didn't ask. I was content sticking to my own imagination of what kinds of mischief we would get into.

Lately –the week of silence aside—I hadn't seen much of Kensei. After a while, I'd traded my job at his sports shop for helping Shinji hack into Aizen's system and doing other odd jobs. Therefore, I wasn't seeing as much of Kensei as I would've liked. I didn't have any real excuse to go see him, but now we had a valid reason to want to be together. Our fantasies probably wouldn't stay only in our minds for long.

I looked up at Kensei after his face returned to normal. His eyes were shining under the fluorescent light and his shirt was snug against his muscles. He never looked more handsome. We were in a relationship, I could've easily moved in and-

The door slammed open. I flinched backwards, staring at the source of the disruption. Hiyori came stomping in, followed by a depressed Hacchi. Dammit! Maybe I was destined to never kiss my boyfriend.

Kensei turned to Hiyori and glared. Kensei's glare is something that no one wants to be face-to-face with, but Hiyori just not-so-subtly told him to fuck off before locking herself in her room.

"Bad day?" I asked Hacchi, who was trudging into the kitchen.

"We almost caught Aizen in an illegal exchange, but he slipped away too quickly for us to follow," Hacchi simply said before disappearing around the corner.

Hacchi's words reminded me that life wasn't a bundle of smiles and roses at the moment. We still had Aizen and Tousen to deal with. Kensei and I would have to carefully monitor our relationship, to make sure it wouldn't become a distraction. I turned to look at Kensei, hoping to find some relief from the sudden mood-killer.

"Don't look like that," he said, glancing at his watch. "Shinji, Lisa, Rose, Love, and Mashiro shouldn't be back for another half hour if they value their lives. We could stay out here-"

Once again, the door burst open. Shinji, Lisa, Rose, and Love tumbled into the room. Their faces held expressions of shock and terror. Lisa smacked Shinji, whose hand was still on the door knob.

"Why did you open the door?" she demanded. Shinji dropped into a defensive stoop.

"I was just trying to find something to hang onto! I didn't mean to open the door!"

Seriously? They were there, eavesdropping, the entire time? And they just happened to fall into the room the moment I was finally going to kiss Kensei? Really, Fate? You hate me this much?

Kensei looked just as pleased about the interruption as I did. Meaning, he was already stalking towards the group of four with murder in his eyes. While he inflicted dire punishment, I cradled my face in my hands, caught between rage and humiliation. I was just about ready to join Kensei when Mashiro peeked into the room from the doorway.

"Did Shuu-chan finally seduce Kensei?" she asked. Seeing my stunned face, she giggled and held out a bag soaked in grease. "I got doughnut holes to celebrate! We'll have a party! Though…" she started, eyeing me with an eerie grin that beat Kensei's, "maybe Kensei will want to eat his hole in the privacy of his room."

Oh god, why was everyone I knew like this?

**XXX**

To make a long story short, Kensei and I didn't get any alone time that night. I was calm and understanding, or at least that's how I acted. Underneath it all, I was planning seven painful deaths that may or may not have included a chainsaw. I was still working out the details when Kensei basically ran everyone out of the room with the threat of not making dinner. I was just about to rejoice in the fact that I would finally be alone with Kensei when I remembered an unfortunate fact.

"Aw, shiiiiiiiit," I groaned and slapped a hand to my forehead. "I have an essay due tomorrow."

I do my homework. On time. Always. Kensei looked frustrated, but he understood my obsessive need to be a good student. He trudged into the kitchen to cook while I shut myself in my room and slaved over my English essay about some play I hated. The moving-into-Kensei's-room plan would have to wait until later. I ate in my room and worked until the wee hours of the morning.

My alarm clock went off too early. In a daze, I got dressed in my uniform. I pulled on my armbands and might've tied my shoes before I stumbled into the living room.

Kensei was standing there, dressed in jeans that hugged his muscular legs and a grey sleeveless shirt that showed off his well-built shoulders. He took the breath away from me, which made me sway dangerously in my sleep deprived state. He turned to face me and grinned.

"Coffee?" he offered. He must've anticipated my morning slump, since he had a mug filled of the bitter liquid ready in his hand.

"Thanks," I sighed before taking the cup and filling myself with caffeine. I would be in a crazy state of delirium the rest of the day, but I had to stay awake somehow.

We left the apartment after I was done with my coffee. The escorts to and from school used to annoy me, even though they were necessary. We would sometimes see suspicious men dressed in black spying at us from a distance. However, the chore became a pleasure once it meant that I could spend fifteen minutes alone with Kensei on the way to and from school. I was sure Kensei took full responsibility of the escort service this morning. Finally, some regular, continuous time with Kensei-

"Hey, Shuuhei!"

Someone kill me.

Renji came running up to us with Ikkaku and Yumichika on his heels, which was strange since none of them usually got to school before the late bell.

"What are you doing?" I asked, barely able to contain my annoyance. Kensei was frowning and I could see the signs of a fit of temper in the making. I was ready to bury Renji in a ditch as he slung his arm over my shoulder.

"Mr. Kuchiki wants to see us about poor attendance or something before school starts," Renji explained. He chuckled, like almost losing credit for his class was only a joke. Sometimes I couldn't understand how normal teenagers thought.

"Who's this?" Ikkaku asked, nodding his shiny bald head towards Kensei. He and Kensei sized each other up and I mentally groaned.

"This is Kensei," I almost snapped. "You know, the owner of the sports shop where I work. You met him before!"

"Oh yeah," Renji drawled. "What's he doing here?"

Kensei and I glanced at each other. I didn't want to come out at 7 in the morning on the walk to school where anyone could overhear. A mutual understanding passed between us and Kensei nodded, taking a deep breath.

"There're reports about a serial killer or something hanging around here. Just making sure my employee doesn't get stabbed," Kensei said, glaring at Renji. Either Renji was oblivious or chose to ignore the silent death threat, since he tightened his grip around my shoulder and tugged me playfully to his chest.

"Well, you no longer need to worry since Shuu's got us to watch his back," Renji said, ruffling my hair. I think Kensei popped a vein or something, since his face got really, really red. "So, see ya!"

Renji dragged me away by the neck, leaving me to gape at Kensei and silently apologize with my eyes. Ikkaku followed, confused by the situation and Yumichika glanced between Kensei and I, understanding dawning on his face.

We were a good distance from Kensei when I finally detangled myself from Renji's grasp.

"A-are you insane?" I sputtered, gripping his shoulders. "What were you_ doing_?"

Renji just grinned and patted my shoulder. "Nothing really. Just testing."

"What-"

"Shuuhei, who was that, _really_?" Ikkaku leered, leaning in close to me. I gaped like a fish, too angry to speak. Did they even care that they now had a high chance of being murdered?

"Yeah, _Shuu-chan_, he seemed very upset," Yumichika jumped in, his mouth twisted into an all-knowing smirk. Renji was on the verge of exploding from excitement.

I groaned and massaged my aching head. "You already figured it out, so what's the point?" I grimaced. Why were my friends only insightful when it came to stuff I didn't want to talk about?

"So," Renji grinned. "The stone-faced Shuuhei got himself a new lover~."

"Stone-faced?" I snapped.

"You're normally either impassive or depressed, so it's obvious when you're flustered," Yumichika sighed. "Really, you two look so gorgeous together…" I didn't want to know what he was imagining.

"I couldn't just hand my friend over to some guy without knowing what kind of man he is," Renji continued. "So-"

"Top or bottom?" Ikkaku cut in.

"Come on, Ikkaku," Yumichika scolded. "Doesn't Shuuhei just scream _spunky uke_?"

Animals. I was surrounded by animals.

**XXX**

The rest of the school day was uneventful. Aside from screaming at my moronic friends who hounded me all day with stupid questions, I did nothing of importance. I waited by the school gates for Kensei to show up, my friends standing a little ways away, smirking and watching me like a hawk. Even Kira joined in, which surprised me since he normally didn't bother with romance and gossip.

Kensei didn't take long to show up. He approached me quickly while keeping an eye on my group of giggling friends. I could tell me was still angry about the morning, since he looked like he was planning three very gruesome deaths. When he got close to me, he broke into a grin.

"You're friends are assholes," Kensei muttered, ruffling my hair.

"What an understatement."

We walked back to the apartment, glancing over our shoulders to make sure we weren't followed. I wasn't sure whether we were looking for men in black or a group of dim-witted teenagers with a death wish.

When we got back, the apartment was empty. I took this as a sign from heaven.

As soon as I put my backpack down, I jumped on Kensei, making us tumble to the floor.

"God, Shuuhei, you can take out a wrestler with that move," Kensei grunted and he got his senses back. "You could've-"

I didn't wait for him to finish talking before I smashed my mouth against his. The inner romantic in me wanted my first kiss with Kensei to be special, slow, and magical, but this was good, too. Our teeth clashed a few times, but the feeling of his lips against mine was worth it. His lips were a little chapped, but they were relentless once he started kissing back. It made my mind fuzzy and I didn't know what I was doing anymore as I fumbled with his shirt.

"Let's move this somewhere other than the living room floor," Kensei said, dragging me up as he stood. He guided me to his room and locked the door behind us.

Kensei's room was very small and somehow managed to fit a desk, dresser, and bed. He liked it well enough, but the lack of legroom made it difficult to maneuver two excited and groping bodies. The moment we closed the door, we were on each other like magnets.

Before long, our legs got tangled together and we fell on the bed. If I was excited before, now I was near heart attack with anticipation. I was in bed, sprawled under the man I loved. Finally!

He was heavy on top of me, but I liked the suffocating weight. I could feel his body stretched over me and I had the sudden urge to wrap my arms around him. I did exactly that and sneaked a hand under his shirt and ran my fingers up and down the muscles on his back. He shuddered under my fingers as he pulled away, looking at me. His gaze darkened before he reached down and started to pull off my shirt.

The fabric moving across and exposing my skin only heightened my arousal. I burned under Kensei's gaze. He looked like a different person; his lips slightly parted and eyes narrowed and glazed with lust. I liked it, especially when I was the cause.

I knew I had a pretty muscular and slim body, but Kensei was on a completely different level. I wanted to see him, without the stupid shirt in my way. I started at the bottom, right over the hem of his jeans and slid the shirt up, dragging my hands along his stomach. He leaned down to kiss me again and this time I couldn't tell where his tongue ended and mine began.

I finally wrenched the shirt over his head, breaking the kiss and took a quick glance before the kiss was resumed. Nice. Man, I was lucky to have that huge slab of muscle all to myself.

The kissing grew frantic and we started to grind against each other. I could barely breathe. I wanted more, much more than this. I knew Kensei did, too. His head was buried in my neck and I could feel his heart beating. His skin sizzled against mine as we moved against each other.

This was where I wanted to be. With Kensei, always. No matter what happened with Tousen and whatever drama came cropping up, everything would be okay with Kensei there. Sure my school, career, and friends still mattered, but Kensei was someone I couldn't do without. If anyone had a problem with that, then I would simply beat them to a pulp. Once again, Hiyori was rubbing off on me.

"Hey, Kensei."

"What?"

"Top or bottom?"

**XXX**

**A/N: Actually, this might be the last chapter. Inspiration for this story has sort of left me. I want to write more, but the words just don't sound right anymore. I know this would be a pretty crappy ending, so let's hope my Muse decides to pay me a visit (so I can tie it to a chair with duct tape so it will never escape again). I want to add an epilogue, at least. Anyways, thank you for reading, reviewing, and favoriting this story!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry this took forever. I just started college so my mind was understandably elsewhere. Anyway, I did feel guilty about leaving the plot hanging, so I tried to think of something to finish Aizen off. Sorry if this is a little (VERY) melodramatic, but I never wrote something with an actual plot before and my mind isn't capable of developing anything intricate. I hope that it's at least entertaining ;) This will probably be the last chapter of this story for a little while…. We'll see how my inspiration goes. So if anyone has any good ideas…tell me.**

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Three weeks we've been together and we still haven't had sex. Sure, plenty of groping and making out could hold off a teenage boy's hormones for a little while, but I wanted more. So, I resolved to break Kensei's No-Sex rule. My mind was starting to wander towards all the various schemes. Though, a stakeout probably wasn't the best place to be planning the loss of my virginity.

While my old company attacked Aizen with legal means, we were going undercover and slightly illegal. Shinji, Love, and I were in a building on the opposite side of the street from one of Aizen's clubs, looking for any suspicious activity and stuff. It was my turn with the binoculars.

For the longest time I wasn't allowed to participate in the dangerous missions. I was extremely qualified, though. I was responsible, good at acting, and had prowess in the martial arts. I had to kick some sense into them (literally), but after a while they finally relented and I was able to join Shinji and Love. Kensei wasn't too happy about it, but I very bluntly reminded him that if I could make him cum, then I could go on a stupid stakeout. Kensei had walked away and gave me the cold shoulder for a few hour.

Shinji and Love were playing cards behind me while I was staring at the door of Aizen's club like a hawk.

"Why do all the rich shady guys own clubs, anyway?" Shinji asked, bored with their two-person game of black jack.

"Clubs are packed with people which confuses cops and there's secluded rooms that can double as meeting places. Not to mention they rack in a lot of money," Love explained while he shuffled the cards.

"Plus, they're chick magnets and what 'rich shady guy' doesn't want a blowjob from a big-breasted bimbo in the bathroom?" I added in a bored monotone, still staring out the window. It should be noted that I my mind was still on sex when I said this. Maybe I could get Kensei alone in a bathroom…

I heard a pile of cards fall to the floor.

"For a gay boy, you're sure in-tune to the opposite sex," Shinji said wearily. Unfortunately, I didn't notice the suddenly perilous atmosphere.

"Just because I'm with Kensei doesn't make me 100% gay." If anything, I was bisexual, though it felt strange labeling my relationship with Kensei, since it felt so natural. Once again, alarm bells should've been going off in my head, but I was too busy imagining my possible bathroom adventure to see the gleam in Shinji's eyes.

"So, if you see a hot girl walk by, you imagine her naked like every other straight guy?" Shinji asked with a wide grin.

Finally, I realized that this was dangerous territory, considering Shinji liked to gossip like a teenage girl.

"Jeagerjaques and Schiffer are entering the club," I announced, drawing attention away from me and towards the two arguing men across the street. Shinji and Love immediately scrambled to the window and took turns looking out the binoculars. A blue haired man and his depressed companion were in a heated verbal battle as they made their way to the door.

Shins grin was contagious. "Now, I wonder why two sworn enemies are going to a club together?"

"Do we move in?" Love asked, reaching for his cell phone. "If there's a meeting, we could get evidence of illegal activity."

Shinji's brows furrowed and he stared out the window. "Go undercover? Hm…You, me, Kensei, and Hacchi would draw too much attention. Mashiro wouldn't be able to stay serious long enough." Shinji glanced at me, frowning. Only Lisa and I would be able to blend in with a crowd, considering neither of us had any distinctive features that couldn't be covered with makeup. And probably because anyone else would mess everything up.

"Retreating will be safer, but it'd be a pity to lose this chance," Love mumbled.

"Kensei will kill us if we send Shuuhei in there," Shinji added. There was also no way they would send Lisa in alone when there was a club full of Aizen's henchmen.

I wanted to roll me eyes. "Haven't I ever told you guys what I used to do for Tousen? I went undercover plenty of times before. Send me and Lisa in and I'll watch her back."

Shinju considered this and picked up his cell phone. "It's worth a try," he said before calling Lisa. She was with Kensei and Mashiro. After Shinji explained the situation and the rough-outline of our plan, I could hear a voice screaming on the other line. Shinji held the phone away from his ear, grimacing.

"Your man sure has a pair of lungs on him," Shinji said to me. "You better gag him or something when you get down and dirty."

As much as I liked the thought of gagging Kensei, I ignored Shinji (and my now raging sex drive) and listened to Lisa, who was on the speaker phone.

"We can probably pull it off," Lisa said hesitantly. By then, Kensei must've gotten tired of yelling because the screaming disappeared. "If we layer make up on Shuuhei's face and style his hair differently. As long as Aizen, Gin, and Tousen aren't there."

"How about you, Lisa?" I asked. She was the one who was going to be risking the most.

"I'm a professional. Don't worry about me."

And that was that. Everyone knew it was risky, but we'd been at a dead-end for months. We were desperate.

Lisa and Rose arrived soon after. They immediately set me into a chair and I couldn't help but have a feeling of déjà vu. Thirty minutes later and I looked like a different person. Sure, my face felt as uncomfortable as hell, but it got the job done.

Only Rose could've done this. My face looked flawless. My ears had clip-on earrings on my lobes and cartilage. My hair wasn't the usual spikes, but styled down and parted into casual disarray. Rose even added some eyeliner, which I didn't really see the need for but I could only trust the "professional". They changed me into clothes that they quickly grabbed from Shinji's closet. I was wearing black jeans, dress shoes, a fitted white t-shirt and an open vest. Shinji wanted to add a hat and tie, but I declined before my outfit became too over-the-top. I was already beyond my comfort-zone. For the finishing touch, they added a tiny recorder and microphone on my belt and inside my vest…somehow. I wasn't sure how they did it, but when they were done I looked like a regular young college boy ready to get some.

Lisa got ready while I was being done. She dressed simply in a dark blue dress that ended above her knees and hugged all her curves. The dress flowed around her as she moved. Her makeup was excellent and her hair was styled in loose curls. Her heels made her legs look endless. She wasn't going to have any problem seducing any man into doing whatever she wanted.

With everyone's needless advice, we left the building. I could feel Kensei's eyes on me as I walked away. He didn't anything to me beyond "get back here in one piece". He was still a little angry that his worries were ignored.

I started out confident, but as I walked down the sidewalk, I noticed a large number of people staring at us. Of course they would; Lisa was gorgeous. Though, it might've been better if there wasn't as much attention geared in my direction. My only role was to watch Lisa's back and make sure that she wasn't abducted or anything.

As we neared the door, the bouncer let us in without any hesitation. I expected him to give me some trouble since I wasn't a hot woman, but he let me in as well without any hassle. He didn't even ask for my ID. Oh well, more convenient for me.

The lighting in the club was dim and the music reverted off the walls. The air was hot and moist due to the sweating, writhing bodies on the dance floor. The dancers were grinding, moving together in a way that would make someone either disgusted or eager. To me, they were a good way to blend in while keeping an eye on Lisa.

First, though, I started out at the bar. Better to work my way into the throng than jump right in. I saw Lisa do the same thing. She slid into a seat next to a stocky, tanned man. She was close enough that I could keep an eye on her, but far enough to set us apart.

I ordered a drink with barely any alcohol. I watched carefully as the bartender poured and mixed. I didn't trust anyone who worked for Aizen. Not to mention, the bartender looked very familiar.

I'd been briefed on all of Aizen's workers. From what I remembered, the man before me was Szayel Aporro. I kept my expression light, hoping the man wasn't as informed us as I was on them. His appearance only confirmed that something illegal was going on in the club that night. Why else would Aizen place one his top associates in a bar other than to make sure no cops sneaked their way past the security guards?

I took a sip and smiled. Cheerful and flirty. That would keep me out of suspicion.

"Been here before?" I heard. I looked up and came face-to-face with Szayel. The man was grinning at me and I instantly felt dread well in my stomach.

"Nope," I answered with another smile. "But I can confidently say only after a few sips that you make the best drinks around." I raised my glass in a toast and took another gulp. Hopefully this would satisfy him.

Szayel smirked. "Do you order such light drinks everywhere you go?" I wondered where this was polite conversation or him testing me. Or something else I didn't want to consider.

I giggled (ugh) and waved my hand in dismissal. "Nah. I'm just checking this place out." I glanced around. "So far so good."

Oh god, someone save me. I was only supposed to be support, not have a conversation with Szayel. I only hoped that I could get out of this before I was dragged into something bad.

Szayel smiled and I didn't like the look of it. Okay. Time to go.

"Aporro," someone called over the crowd. The voice was booming and a moment later something huge was standing right next to me. I glanced over at Lisa. She was in a deep conversation with the man from earlier. I couldn't tell exactly who is was, but Lisa wouldn't waste her time with anyone less than important.

She looked like she was making headway, so I couldn't drag her out of there. I would have to join the dancers if I wanted to get away from Szayel.

"Jiruga," Szayel stated. I looked up and my mouth almost dropped open. He was unnaturally tall and had a large frown on his face. Half his face was covered by an eye patch. The man screamed DANGEROUS. I knew who this man was and I knew that I couldn't afford to get involved with him. "Do you need anything?"

Nnoitra Jiruga sat on the stool next to me. I felt a chill run down my spine. Unfortunately, I couldn't get up right away without drawing attention to myself. Szayel was still keeping an eye on me.

"Just getting away from that bitch," he sneered. Jiruga looked murderous and I felt sorry for whoever he was talking about.

Szayel nodded. "There are plenty of ways to solve that problem."

"_Later_." Jiruga only said one word, but it was enough to scare the shit out of me. I had to get away from this man. This situation was getting worse every second. I was supposed to just blend in with the crowed, but in less than ten minutes I was surrounded by two of the most dangerous men in Aizen's arsenal. I waited long enough.

I started to get up, but halfway off my seat Jiruga shifted his attention.

"Who's this?" Jiruga asked. He was staring right at me.

Fuck.

Szayel looked at me, quirking his eyebrow. "In fact, I don't know his name either."

Shitshitshitshitshit.

I forced myself to grin and said the first name that came to mind. "Kenji." I grabbed my glass again, sipping at the fruity liquid. Hopefully Jiruga would lose interest.

Instead, he grinned an insane smile which terrified me. I didn't let my intimidation show, though. I had to be strong-willed or he would pounce.

"Why're ya drinking somethin' so light?" he drawled, flicking my glass. "Get him something _strong_," he told Szayel. Jiruga looked down at me and I felt like I was going to be sick.

Why did they latch onto me? Either I was very unlucky or they somehow knew who I was. All I could do was nod and watch as Szayel mixed my drink.

A hand on my thigh made clear Jiruga's intentions.

Double fuck.

At this rate, getting information wasn't worth the consequences. I had to get out of here. I wanted to make eye contact with Lisa and silently ask her for help, but turning my gaze away would allow the two men unsupervised access to my drink.

The hand moved further up my thigh and I made a snap decision. It was time to leave. If I left now, Jiruga would just shrug it off and move onto some other target. If he decided to follow, then I'd latch onto Lisa. I stood up and started to signal Lisa when someone with sandy-blonde hair collided with me.

I stumbled and knocked my drink right into Jiruga's lap. I stood in horror as the liquid seeped into his pants.

He looked furious. My eyes widened and I lost all rational thought. I was going to be killed!

Instead of killing me, Jiruga stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder. The grip was tight, painfully so. He leaned in closer. Realization sunk in and I went numb. This couldn't be happening.

"These are expensive pants." I felt a part of my soul die. "_Help me wash up_."

My mind stood still. I stared at Jiruga's dark grin, unable to do anything but gape. I couldn't refuse. If I did…something told me that Jiruga wouldn't let me go. Now that he completely set his sights on me, I couldn't run away. That ship had sailed.

My brain finally kick-started and I stood up on shaky legs. I had to figure out a way to get out of this. Szayel wished us luck as we stepped away from the counter. He was smirking, like he knew this was going to happen the entire time. Bastard.

As Jiruga dragged me across the room, I snapped my gaze to Lisa. She was staring at me in horror and I sent her my best help-me-or-I'm-going-to-die look. She nodded and quickly turned back to her partner, her face paler than before. I doubted whoever she was with noticed, though, since she leaned over so far that her cleavage was practically falling out of her dress. She was going to get into the backrooms where I was going if it was the last thing she did.

My mind was a little more at ease, but I knew that this could still end in disaster. Jiruga pushed past the crowd and past the public bathrooms until we came upon a large, decorated door guarded by security. The guard was a large man with a severe underbite and a weird mix of black and orange hair, who I identified as Yammy. Jiruga flashed a card and he was let inside with me in tow.

By this point, my heart was doing cartwheels. I was in the meeting place of my worst enemy. I didn't know whether to be excited for the opportunity or scared shitless. I was opting for the latter.

The walls were painted purple and gold. The hall was barely lighted and doors lined the walls. I was too busy looking around, trying to figure out a way to leave a marker of some sort for Lisa, that I didn't notice Jiruga pausing at a door. Before I knew what was happening, my world turned side ways as I was shoved into a door.

The door closed behind me and for a moment it was completely dark.

I almost swallowed me tongue. The thobbing in my chest was painful and I had trouble taking even breaths. Jiruga still had a firm grip on my shoulder and my legs were too buttery to resist and he pushed me against a wall. The lights suddenly flicked on and I was momentarily blinded.

Jiruga loomed above me, his face the only thing in my vision. I couldn't see the rest of the room, but I definitely knew that it wasn't a bathroom.

"Now, you're going to pay me back for these pants," he said, his voice almost a hiss. He pressed up close to me and I could feel his breath and heat through my clothes. I fought back a strangled whimper.

Was I really going to be raped by this man? Was I really going to take this lying down because "I had no choice"? I didn't even do this with Kensei yet. There was no way I was going to give any part of myself to this man!

"_Don't be scared_," Jiruga laughed, leering down at my face. Jiruga pinned my body to the wall. I couldn't move and my nose was assaulted by the smell of his sweat.

I forced my muddled brain to run over the possibilities. I could fight back and either get beaten to death or raped. I could try to talk Jiruga out of it and get beaten and raped. Or I could go along with it and sell my soul. Oh god, there had to be another option! Anything would do.

"You know," I started, my brain working a mile per minute. I just had to stall. Get away from the wall and stall long enough to think of a plan. "We really shouldn't be doing it _this_ way."

Jiruga stilled for a moment. I could see a flicker of interest in his eyes.

"Whaddya mean?"

I smirked and forced myself into a relaxed stance. "We're in a dark room in the back of a club and your pants are soaking. Something tells me this is going to be quick and unsatisfying."

I lightly pushed against Jiruga to test my boundaries. He let me slip out of his grip. Apparently, he liked the idea of me hot and willing more than stiff and awkward.

I looked around the room in the few moments I had. There was a bed and desk covered in papers. I doubted there was anything important on the desk, since Jiruga used this room as his play house. There was nothing of use to me.

Dammit, there had to be something.

I scanned lower and saw a glint of metal under the desk. I couldn't tell what is was at first, but I soon recognized it as a crow bar. Excellent! I didn't want to think of what Jiruga used that for.

I walked over to the desk and ran my fingers over it. Jiruga smirked and stalked over to me.

"This can be so much better than a quickie in the back of a club," I stated, grinning. I had no freaking idea what I was saying, but apparently Jiruga liked it. He pressed up against me and rubbed his hands up and down my arms. I shivered, but not for the reason Jiruga thought I did.

"What're ya suggesting?" he asked, his voice a husky whisper. His breath was right on my ear. I automatically turned towards the voice.

I felt a pair of lips on my own. First my brain stilled from the shock, then I felt like throwing up. It was the wrong taste, texture. Wrong man.

"Whatever it is," Jiruga said, breaking away from me. "I have something that can make it better."

I turned away from Jiruga, my body shaking from the effort to not crumble. Jiruga held a plastic bag filled with pills in my face, jiggling it. I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves.

"Are those drugs?" I asked, my voice weak. I remembered the recorder. I was torn between getting good information or saving my life. However, the two of them kind of went together. If I could stall him with questions about the drugs, then I could slowly make my way towards the crow bar.

"Yeah," Jiruga grinned, opening the bag.

"How'd you get them?" I asked. Jiruga's grin disappeared and his eyes turned into narrow slits.

"Does it matter?"

"'Cause I don't want anything crappy off the streets," I snapped, pretending to be irritated. There was a name that we could prove Aizen was connected to. We just needed evidence that people working under that name were selling drugs. "If they're from someone I know to be-"

"Does the name Los Noches ring a bell?"

Oh, that was easy.

"You got the drugs from him?"

"Yeah."

"What other drugs you got? Crack? Heroin?"

"Wanna buy some?"

"Yeah."

"Have 'em both from Los Noches. I'll set you up later."

I nodded and smiled. Now that that was done, it was time to make my escape. If I could get to the crowbar, not even Jiruga's hard head could withstand a strong bash from steel. I had slowly been inching my way over to the area right in front of the crowbar. Now all I needed was an excuse to lean down.

I knocked my hip against the desk and my cell phone that was in my pocket fell to the floor. I reached down to pick it up. It was only a few inches from the weapon.

"Get back up here," Jiruga ordered. I ignored him and reached for the crowbar.

"This phone cost four month's pay. I just wanna put it somewhere safe," I explained slowly, getting a good grip on the metal. A hand was placed on my ass and it took all my control to not jerk away.

I readied myself to attack.

Before I could do anything, a knock echoed through the room. Jiruga cursed and pulled away. He walked to the door and I straightened up, hiding the crowbar behind my back.

Shit. I couldn't attack with someone on the other side of the door. I was going to lose my chance.

Jiruga opened the door. I couldn't tell who it was, but I heard agitated whispers. Jiruga glanced back at me and cursed again.

Jiruga pointed at me, trying to tie me in place with his eyes. "You, stay here," he ordered. He took my cell from off the floor and removed the battery. He tossed me the empty shell.

The door locked with a click and I was alone.

I let out a shaky breath and supposed my body on the desk. So much had happened in the past ten minutes. I didn't know whether to me scared or relieved. On one hand, Jiruga's gone but on the other I was stuck in the room until he returns. Also, Jiruga left the drugs on the desk.

I paced the room until I heard someone jiggling with the door knob. I stopped and held the crowbar at ready. If it was Jiruga, I was going to attack, no matter who was with him. I just had to get out. If I waited any longer, the worst could happen. I was getting desperate to get away from Jiruga and this place. I wanted to be back with Kensei

The door opened and I got into a fighting stance. I saw black hair and raised the crowbar. I was going to bash his head in. The person stepped in and I took a step forward. I was just going to swing when I noticed height difference and curvy hips.

Lisa slipped into the room and I dropped the crowbar and cried in relief. She never looked more like an angel.

"Thank god," Lisa sighed. She grabbed my wrist and yanked me over to the wall before I could get a word out. "What the fuck were you thinking?" she hissed, changing her tone in a split second.

I held my hands up in defense, a little disoriented. "I couldn't help it. He would've taken me by force if he had to." If possible, she looked angrier. "Um…I got something useful?" I tried, hoping to bribe her.

I handed her the drugs and she shoved them in her purse without a moment wasted. She shot me that Don-t'-think-this-is-over look and pulled me towards the door.

"We don't have time to talk now," was all she said before walking into the hallway.

"We can't just leave," I said, pulling us both to a stop. We could run into more of Aizen's men.

Lisa just kept walking, towing me with her.

"Just shut up and follow me," she said. Apparently I lost the right to offer my opinion once I got myself kidnapped.

The hallway was empty. She quickly led me down the hall. We stopped in front of a door that was slightly ajar. The room was much like Jiruga's except that on this bed there was a passed out man tied to the frame.

"I slipped him something," she explained before pointing to an air vent. "There's a map of this place in his desk. This air vent leads to the bathroom." Lisa had an excellent mental map and sense of direction, so I let her lead as we climbed into the small tunnel. We were lucky that we were in an old fashioned building that needed large vents. Otherwise we wouldn't have fit.

Even so, the thin metal walls cramped us in. It was dusty and it took everything I had to not sneeze. We crawled for a few moments. I blindly followed her, a little ashamed that I didn't think of this plan before. I mean, if toys in animated films could hatch an invasion and escape of a facility surrounded by enemies, why couldn't I?

After a few turns, Lisa stopped. She looked down through another lid. Nodding to herself, she removed it and set it to the side. She jumped down, landing gracefully on the tiled floor. I followed, jarring my legs a little.

We were in the middle of a bathroom. A man at the urinal was staring at us, but then shrugged and turned back to his current activity. I guess two people falling from the ceiling weren't note worthy. I wondered what strange things he saw in this club regularly.

We fixed our clothes so they weren't too messed up. With one deep breath, we opened the door to the bathroom and stepped into the crowd.

It was as unpleasant as I thought I'd be. Everyone was sweating, panting, and in some cases moaning. Lisa and I stayed close to each other, dancing our way towards the exit. The entire time, I was looking around, waiting for Jiruga to find me. However, we reached the door without incident. We slipped out and into the fresh air. Never did air smell so good.

We hurried down the sidewalk and when we were a good distance away from the club, we ran. I was close to hyperventilating when we finally came to a stop.

I made it. I got out.

While I was busy thanking every god I knew of, Lisa called Shinji on her cell since mine was D.O.A. Before my heart had the chance to settle down, a familiar purple car was peeling around the corner. The door swung open and Lisa pushed me into the backseat.

We were quiet for a few minutes as Shinji got us out of there as quickly as possible. Lisa leaned back against the seat, resting her head on the leather. She was taking deep breaths. Shinji was eyeing her, an unusual frown on his face.

"What happened?" he asked, glancing between us. "You both look a little sick."

I felt sick. My cheek was against the window and the cool glass did nothing to sooth my frayed nerves.

Lisa sat back up and shook her head. "I think we did too good a job on his clothes and makeup," she said, heavy with implications.

Shinji's eyes widened and he groaned. "Kensei's going to kill us!"

What he said was true. The moment Kensei found out the danger I was in, he would go into a murderous rage. My boyfriend has slight anger management issues.

"It's my fault for getting myself into that situation," I argued. I couldn't let Lisa or anyone else take the blame for me. "I should've tried to leave earlier."

Lisa smacked my head. "Really, what were you thinking? If I didn't see Jiruga leaving his room without you-"

"He was with _Jiruga_?" Shinji practically yelled. I winced. This was not going to be good.

"Jiruga led him away from the bar and into the private rooms. Zommari almost dragged me back there after I was done with me," Lisa said, looking almost proud at the last statement. "I slipped him a pill, grabbed his keys, and opened the door just in time to see Jiruga leaving with Jeagerjaques. Shuuhei was locked in the room."

Shinji gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. "Fuuuck."

"I would've notice the air vent eventually," I added, hoping to salvage some of my dignity. "I even had a crowbar."

Lisa looked like she was ready to kill me. "That's not the point! You could've been killed!"

"Everyone knew it was risky, but they still let me go," I snapped. "Everyone knows how much we need this. Look, I got the drugs and Jiruga saying that he got them from Aizen's code name. Now we can put him behind bars."

Shinji opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"I was stupid, I get it. But I'm not a kid. I knew what I was doing." Okay, so I had no idea what I had been doing, but they didn't need to know that.

Shinji just sighed and continued to drive. "Then you're the one who gets to explain everything to Kensei."

"Sure," I said, happy that at least Shinji was pacified. Lisa still looked pissed, though.

"You scared the shit out of me," she muttered.

"Sorry," I answered, a little pitiful. "I won't do it _ever_ again. Believe me."

We were silent the rest of the way. It would take a few days for Lisa to completely forgive me, but she wasn't furious anymore. Now, the next big challenge was keeping Kensei from going ape shit.

We didn't go back to the apartment. Instead, we called everyone and arranged a meeting at the old company. We even called Yamamoto to arrange a meeting. We had to act fast before Aizen realized how much danger he was in.

We got to the large, decorated lobby. It was exactly as I remembered: fancy and soulless. Kensei and the rest of our family were already there. They didn't look happy, despite the good news. During the call, Shinji briefly mentioned that I kind of almost got killed/raped and everyone seemed to latch onto that one piece of information.

Of course, Kensei was glaring holes into my forehead. Lisa and I told our respective stories and by the end Kensei was shaking.

"Didn't I tell you to be careful?" Kensei growled at me. His teeth were clenched and all his muscles were tensed. I never saw him so angry before. I stood an instinctive step back. Love placed a hand on Kensei's shoulder.

"He got the job done."

"He was almost…" Kensei grit, hands in fists. He snapped his gaze to me. For the first time, I was truly afraid of his glare. "What were you _thinking_?"

I was seriously getting tired of people asking me that. Hmmm…what was I thinking? Oh yeah, Kensei. The entire time I was thinking of you!

"I did what I needed to do," I said. Probably not the best thing to say, but I was tired. I was tired, hungry, and just got out of the most terrifying situation of my life. I didn't exactly have the patience anymore to subdue Kensei.

"He almost-"

"Yeah, _almost_," I hissed. "He didn't and I wasn't going to let him."

Kensei took a furious step towards me. "He could've easily held you down and done anything he wanted."

I had never gotten angry at Kensei before. Frustrated maybe, but this was the first time I wanted to punch him. He almost flinched when he saw the rage envelop me.

"Why do you keep doing this?" I spat. "You keep treating me like a kid. Well, guess what Kensei. I'm an _adult_. Sometimes I think you don't even know me."

Kensei didn't say anything in response. He just stood there, staring down at me.

An arm wrapped around my shoulder and I turned to see Shinji draping himself over me. I wanted to shove him off.

"Save it for later. We gotta get upstairs," he said before leading me away. He was right. This wasn't the time for me to argue with Kensei. Though, he did nothing to quell the resentment between us. Kensei didn't understand, but I didn't want to lose him.

Everyone filtered into the elevator. Tensions were running high, both because of the drama and because no one really wanted to soon be around the people who ruined their careers.

The elevator door slid open and we came face-to-face with Yamamoto. The nine department heads that were left were right behind him. I recognized everyone, but didn't feel any sort of pleasant nostalgia. They had all looked at me suspiciously when Tousen left. They didn't defend me when people spread rumors about me being a traitor. Yamamoto had once intimidated me, but now all I saw was a paranoid old man.

"You say you have solid evidence against Aizen," Yamamoto stated. No shit. We just wanted to see all your lovely faces again.

Once again, I was in a really bad mood.

"Yeah," Shinji said, his lips turned into a grimace. "We don't wanna, but if we pool our evidence together then we can lock 'im up for life."

Yamamoto nodded and gestured towards one of the meeting rooms. It was one of the simple white rooms with a black long table and chairs. It reminded me of all the times I'd used to help Tousen with cases or when I'd lead the discussion on my own. I didn't miss it.

I liked being with Shinji, Hiyori, Love, Rose, Mashiro, Lisa, and Kensei. I wasn't going to return to my old life after this was done.

**

* * *

**

My old company already had plenty of evidence, but they needed solid proof to top it off. My audio tape the drugs were the icing on top of the cake. They submitted everything to the FBI or something. . I wasn't paying attention. I already did all I could do. All I knew was that Aizen was finally going to jail, along with Gin and Tousen.

I didn't even want to think about Tousen at the moment. I would settle that later, after my life calmed down.

We left the building with shallow waves and goodbyes. Yamamoto didn't apologize for unjustly accusing my family. No one apologized for allowing company workers to drive me out. Everyone was glad for this night to be over.

We went back to our apartment in separate cars. I rode with Lisa and Shinji again.

When we got back, everyone quickly disappeared into their respective rooms, leaving me alone with Kensei. It was awkward standing there with him. My anger from before had faded quite a bit with my exhaustion. I just wanted to end this.

"I know you're pissed-" I started.

Kensei scoffed. "You almost get yourself raped and you think I'm only pissed?"

How was I supposed to explain myself if he kept-

Okay, calm down. As depressing as it is, you have to be the mature one, Shuuhei.

"The others may've brushed it off already, but I'm not gonna," he continued, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. "You say I don't understand you, but the entire time you were gone, I couldn't help but think of anything else but the danger you were in. And then you came back, telling us that you-you-"

I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around Kensei. I didn't want to hear anymore. This entire night was messed up. The scene in the club felt so long ago, but Jiruga had been so close. I could still feel his breath on me.

"I was scared, Kensei," I muttered, burying my face in his shirt. "I didn't know what to do. I was just dragged along. I couldn't stop him, I just had to follow- I'm so sorry-" I stopped. I was getting more and more worked up as I went along. I took a deep breath, but couldn't stop the shaking.

Kensei sighed and pulled me closer to him. He finally got the reaction he wanted. "It's okay now. You're safe and they're never going to come after you again."

I nodded. Leave it to Kensei to switch personalities in a moment. He knew what I needed. God, I didn't ever want to leave him. Even if he could be an angry jerk.

"Now," he said, patting my head. "Let's get you out of that stupid outfit and makeup."

I nodded and headed towards the bathroom.

What was this feeling of déjà vu?

**

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**

Kensei went to bed while I was cleaning up. When I was finished, I slid in next to him. The warmth of his body was so comforting. However, it made me a little anxious. I couldn't help but imagine his body and how good it looked. Especially when it will-

Okay, new train of thought. There were still serious topics we needed to discuss.

"Hey, Kensei?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going to happen now?" He eyed me quizzically. "Aizen's going to jail. Your name will be cleared. You can do whatever you want…"

Kensei chuckled and I could feel the vibrations. I scooted in a little closer.

"I don't know what everyone else is going to do, but I happen to like my little shop. I'll keep it and find an apartment. One that's no falling apart."

I bit my lip, wondering whether I should ask my next question.

"How about us?"

"What about us?"

I groaned. Kensei could be so immature. "We're going to stay together, right?" With the turmoil gone from Kensei's life, maybe he'd want a normal partner. Sure, we were together, but sometimes I worried about his true feelings. After all, we've hardly done anything sexual. He's not someone who usually says his feelings out loud unless they're negative.

Kensei chuckled. "Of course. The only reason I care about my shop is because it's the reason I met you again."

All the blood rushed to my face (well, most of it went in the completely opposite direction). Why did he have to say things like that when I was off guard?

"I'll stay with you until you ask me to leave," Kensei whispered in my ear.

I smiled and buried my face in the pillow.

"That will never happen."

The past few months were so busy that Kensei and I didn't have much time to really understand each other. Now that Aizen was going to jail, that was going to change. I was planning to go to university and commute out of Kensei's apartment-to-be. I wasn't sure what I was going to study. I had enough of business and corporations. I wanted to do something meaningful and helpful to the community. My future was full of possibilities that I had to discover. And Kensei would be by my side through every door.

"Hey, Shuuhei?"

"Yeah?"

"Why aren't you wearing underwear?"


	8. Chapter Octopus

** A/N: I had the sudden urge to be silly (more like stupid...), so this was the result. I'm not sure why, but I just love the idea of Shuuhei in a skirt. Hence, this chapter with no plot was born. This is happening during the summer, after Shuu's graduation, by the way. Kind of forgot to put that little bit of information in the story.**

** Oh, and sorry for any typos, weirdly phrased sentences, and whatnot. I didn't edit this as much as I should've…since I've gotten reallllly lazy.**

**

* * *

**

"Renji, I'll only ask you one more time," I said with as much patience as I could muster. "Why are you on my door step wearing a skirt?"

My best friend of several years was standing in front of me, naked except for the plaid school skirt that was three sizes too small for him. Renji grinned sheepishly and fumbled with the fabric.

I had almost shut the door in his face the moment I opened it. Kensei and I just moved in to our apartment a few weeks ago and I was still working on making a good impression on the neighbors. Having a drunken cross-dressing fool sauntering up to our door in the middle of the night was not the way to get invited to Ms. Oika's famous pot luck dinners.

"Uh…" Renji slurred. "I dunno?"

I groaned and pulled the moron inside. Thank god Kensei was out with a potential supplier or he'd go berserk. For some reason he never seemed to like Renji. It was a feeling wholeheartedly returned by Renji. I had invited a few friends over to hang out when we had first moved in, and Renji and Kensei took an immediate dislike to each other. Though, Renji was smart enough to keep his opinions to himself.

After Aizen had been dealt with, Kensei and the others moved out of their rundown flat. Kensei and I rented this apartment while the others made their own living arrangements. I didn't see Love, Rose, Shinji, Hiyori, or Hacchi as much as I used to, but it wasn't like I was cut out of their lives. I saw them at least three times a week. Lisa and Mashiro, though, were in our apartment constantly. Lisa was probably there just to make sure I didn't do something stupid again (she never really let go of my whole getting-kidnapped-escapade), but Mashiro had always been close to Kensei. Mashiro and Kensei worked together for years, after all. Even though he still almost strangled her on a daily basis, one could see the brotherly love he had for her in every one of his murderous outbursts.

Fortunately, Renji decided to show up on the rare moment when the apartment was free of visitors and Kensei.

I made sure the door was locked behind us as we went in. I sat Renji down on the leather couch…after laying out a towel where he'd sit. I painstakingly picked out every piece of furniture and decoration in the apartment. Kensei had a thing for leather, so the couches and chairs were made from it (which was actually fake, but Kensei didn't have to know that). The carpet was a nice grey and the fixtures like lamps were cool tones like blue and green. I added in some red with a few pictures and vases. There was a huge bookshelf lining one wall with all my favorite books and music. Our apartment was my masterpiece and our home.

"Okay," I said once Renji was situated. "Speak."

Renji stared up at the ceiling, like he was trying to recall something. "Hmmm… I was at Ikkaku's... I think… Yumi was there... there was lots of beer…and then I was on the sidewalk in this." He motioned to his ensemble. Short, but enough to get the gist of everything.

"Why didn't you go _home_?" I urged, shaking his shoulders. His head wobbled back and forth, his mouth falling open slightly. His face was flushed red. God, how drunk did he get?

Suddenly, his head snapped up and absolute horror was reflected in those blood shot eyes. "He's there_. Byakuya_," he whispered, glancing around like he was afraid that phantom-Byakuya was going to smite him.

Even while drunk, the only person Renji was afraid of was Byakuya Kuchiki. Byakuya never approved of Renji dating his sister and he never let Renji forget it. Rukia and Renji had moved in together after graduation, which only irked Byakuya even more.

"Why didn't you go back to Ikkaku's?"

Once again, the look of pure terror.

"There were…_sounds _coming through the door." Of course, Renji made it sound like someone was getting murdered, but I had once been unfortunate enough to ignore the "sounds" and walked in on Ikkaku and Yumichika doing…you know.

I nodded, understanding perfectly.

"So you came here?"

"Yeah."

I sighed. It wasn't like I could turn him away to continue wandering the streets dressed like an escaped lunatic. I wondered if he was cold, but more importantly, that skirt looked like it was cutting off circulation.

"Let's get you dressed," I suggested, leading him into my bedroom.

Once we were standing in front of my closet, we came upon another dilemma: Renji was a good three inches taller than me and at least thirty pounds heavier. He was closer to Kensei in weight, but there was still a height difference. Even so, Renji would fit Kensei's clothes better. However, Kensei probably wouldn't like the idea of Renji anywhere near his stuff. Kensei didn't keep his dislike for Renji a secret. In fact, it was a wonder how Renji gathered the courage to come here, since Kensei made a really convincing I'll-strangle-you-in-your-sleep face. I would've put a stop to their fighting, but I had to admit it was a little funny.

In the end, I let Renji borrow Kensei's bathrobe. Kensei was always complaining about how it felt "weird", so it shouldn't have been a huge problem.

"Thanks, man," Renji said, slipping the bathrobe over his shoulders. The tiny skirt fell to the floor.

After that, Renji sat on the couch and watched tv while I called up Rukia. She sounded frustrated, but agreed to pick up Renji once her brother retired to his hotel. I could tell Rukia loved him, but he'd probably face her wrath once he got home. I shivered, glad Kensei was quick to anger but also quick to cool off.

I sat down on the couch next to Renji and he draped his arm over my shoulder. I tried to push him off, since he had beer breath, but he wouldn't budge.

"Shuu-chan," he whined.

"If you ever call me that again-"

"You never hang out with us anymore," he continued, poking my chest for good measure. "We're all going to university soon and we'll never see each other again."

"You're going to the same university as me!"

"Don't die, Shuuhei!" he cried, clinging to me. It took all my willpower to not break his nose. But I held back. Barely.

Instead, I patted his head and played along.

"No one's going to die," I muttered. For being so macho normally, he was a pathetic drunk. Or maybe Yumichika spiked this drink with something.

"Yes you are! The grey-haired ape is going to kidnap and eat you!"

I had no idea who he was referring to, but this was getting old very quickly. And he was getting snot all over my shirt.

"I doubt this ape is going to do anything to me," I said. I had to play this game by Renji's terms.

Renji's eyes grew wide as he stared at me. "No! Don't join the dark side! Even if they have cookies, we have popsicles." He leaned in closer, like he was going to tell me a secret. "You know, Rukia taught me how to make strawberry popsicles. They're really good and sometimes, if we have some strawberries left over, we'll go into the bedroom and-"

"Okay! Don't want to hear that," I yelled, pushing him off me. He fell to the floor in a huff. He stared up at me with wounded eyes.

"How could you?" he shouted. "I knew it! I knew it! The ugly ape brainwashed you! Him and that annoying green parrot!"

I messaged my temples, my head starting to ache. He was too drunk and loud for this time of night. Rukia, get here soon!

Renji staggered to his feet and started to stumble towards me, his eyes shining with determination. I was kind of reminded of a zombie movie as I shuffled around the living room, trying to avoid him. He chased after me, bumping into furniture as he went.

"He's going to turn you into rabbit soup!"

So I was a rabbit now…fantastic. He tripped over the coffee table and fell face first on the floor. He laid there motionless. As I reached down to see if he was passed out, his hand shot out and gripped my ankle. Before I knew it, my back was to the floor and Renji was hovering above me.

"I won't let the monkey eat you," he stated.

The door handle jiggled and I thought it was salvation in the form of Rukia. Of course, the fates decided to fuck with me.

"Renji~ Shuu-chan~"

Oh please no.

Yumichika sauntered in, followed by Ikkaku who was clutching two cases of beer. Yumichika waved, raising an eyebrow at our strange display. I was sprawled out on the ground, pinned down by Renji. Not the best situation to be in.

"Uh…" I started, my brain shutting down. "Renji said you two were…busy."

Yumichika chuckled and plopped down on the couch. Ikkaku handed him a beer before sitting next to him. He threw his arm casually around Yumichika's shoulder.

"Busy?" Yumichika questioned. "Oh. That was only a quickie on the kitchen table. Afterwards we decided to pay our dear friend Shuuhei a visit." He winked before kicking Renji off me. Renji rolled to the side, holding his side in pain.

"You were all brainwashed! That alien Byakuya must be behind it…"

Ikkaku scratched his head before pushing Renji over to the side.

"I guess we gave him too much beer…"

No shit.

I groaned and grabbed a bottle. No way was I going to get through this night without a drink.

"You guys shouldn't have let him walk home alone," I snapped. "We're lucky he wandered here. He could've ended up in a dumper or drowned in a river."

Yumichika rolled his eyes before smacking me across the head. Ouch.

"Do you really think we're that thoughtless?" he said, a little insulted. "As soon as we saw him drifting away, we finished up and followed him."

"So, you were here the entire time?" I asked.

"Yes. You two put on quite a show," Yumichika mused.

Okay, deep breaths Shuuhei. These are your friends. You like them.

"Let's have a hot dog eating contest," Ikkaku yelled, tugging Renji up with him.

"Hell yeah!"

You like them…like them…like…

There was a crash in the kitchen.

"Hey, Shuuhei, is the sink faucet supposed to be turned up?"

LIKE THEM. DON'T KILL THEM. YOU'LL GO TO JAIL.

I buried my head in my hands. I really had to learn how to control the things happening around me.

Yumichika sighed and took another sip of his drink. "So unsightly…" he muttered before joining the two in the kitchen.

"Don't give Renji anymore alcohol," I called after him. Even if he was annoying, I couldn't risk Renji drinking himself to the point of alcohol poisoning. If we just gave him soda he probably wouldn't notice at this point.

There was a clattering of pans and I jumped up, ready to put a stop to whatever was happening. I hoped to god that the walls were soundproof or a whole lot of old grannies were going to be chasing me down with their canes the next morning. Normally, I would go all out and party like a maniac. However, this was my house and I was fiercely protective over it.

I didn't have the chance to walk to the kitchen before the phone started to ring. I picked it up, my exhaustion levels rising with every moment. Please, let it be someone that wouldn't make the situation worse…

"Hello?" I muttered.

"Hey, Shuuhei," Shinji said cheerfully on the other line. Why was everyone up at one in the morning? Didn't anyone know what a decent bed time was? I'd been peacefully asleep when Renji came pounding at my door.

"What do you want, Shinji?" I asked, not even pretending to be pleased to hear him.

"Why ya being so cold? We're comrades in arms," he drawled. "I entrusted one of my dearest friends to you…"

I almost hung up on him, but I couldn't bring myself to do something so rude. Instead, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Now's not the best time," I said, glancing over at Ikkaku balancing a banana on his nose…somehow.

"Why? I hear somethin' in the background," he said. I could hear the grin in his voice.

"Just the tv," I said quickly. I didn't like where this was going.

"Shuuhei!" Renji screamed. "Do you have any hot dogs?"

…

"Let's get Iba over here," he continued. "Ikkaku, call him and tell him to bring the hot dogs. Oh, and make Kira get some cheese puffs."

Shinji was silent for a few moments.

"So, that was the tv?" Damn.

"Uh…They're leaving soon."

Shinji chuckled on the other line. Not good. I felt a little sick.

"Except for Mashiro and Kensei, haven't met your friends yet," Shinji said. "We'll come over and introduce ourselves."

"We?" I squeaked.

"Yeah. Me, Love, Rose, Lisa, and Hiyori. Mashiro's here, too."

Oh no. Nonononononononono.

"Shinji, can't this wait till later? They're going to leave real soon and Kensei-"

"We'll be there in ten! Bye bye."

The line went dead and there was a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I stared at the phone, wondering what I should do. A loud _whoop_ interrupted my thoughts, reminding me of the three-soon-to-be-11 intruders in my home. I turned sharply on my heel and strode into the kitchen. I stopped in the doorway.

Ikkaku had a large bottle of whipped cream and was squirting the entire thing into his open mouth. My eyes widened and I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the sight. It seemed impossible to fit so much inside such a small space… Oh wait, this was going to make a huge mess of the floor.

I snatched the can away from Ikkaku and pushed him towards the front door. If I got all them out in time, I could barricade the door and prevent the oncoming horde of visitors.

"Out!" I yelled, shoving Ikkaku into the living room with Renji and Yumichika trailing behind.

"Why're being such a mood killer?" Ikkaku protested.

"This is _my_ apartment. And Kensei's going to be home soon," I snapped. Renji's eyes widened and he grabbed my shoulders.

"The ape is coming back?" he gasped. Thank god Kensei wasn't there to hear that. I wondered if Renji had an animal nickname for everyone he knew. But, then why was I a rabbit? I could at least be a panther or jaguar or something.

"Yes, the mightily dreadful ape is going to pulverize you if you don't get out of here _now_," I said, my patience wearing thin. I actually had no idea when Kensei was going to be back, but I didn't want to risk him coming back to a house full of people that annoy him.

"What's this about an ape?"

I looked up to see a smiling Shinji.

"How'd you get here so fast?" I almost yelled.

Shinji just smiled and walked in, followed by Lisa, Mashiro, Hiyori, Love, and Rose. It seemed only Hacchi had the decency to stay home for the night. They were all dressed in their typical weird outfits with their typical weird hairstyles. Though, looking around the room, there wasn't one normal looking person in the bunch.

Renji already met Mashiro, but to everyone else these were all new people. Maybe they'd all get along.

…Or not.

Rose and Yumichika immediately delved into an in-depth discussion on beauty. That was turning heated very quickly, for some reason or another. Sometimes I thought those two lived to create drama.

Hiyori made the mistake of calling Ikkaku "baldy", which quickly evolved into a shouting match. Renji had to restrain Ikkaku from trying to beat her with the wooden sword he carried around. This was mostly for his sake, since Hiyori was much stronger than she looked. Hiyori was having a field day with this, considering her target was even more ill-tempered than her.

Iba and Kira arrived soon after. Iba and Love immediately started to stare each other down and poor Kira was practically held hostage by Mashiro who was armed with scrunchies and hair clips. The volume of noise raised significantly and I wished that a lightning bolt would strike me dead. These were all my very good friends, but it was late, it was my apartment, and my irritable boyfriend was going to come home soon and probably explode.

Lisa and Shinji cornered me as I was surveying the damage. They both wore devious expressions, but I didn't have the energy to protect myself from their schemes.

"You know, Shuuhei," Shinji started, his tone light and obnoxious. He stepped closer and I felt the prickling of apprehension.

"We were getting pretty bored and started to talk," Lisa continued. She eyed my up and down. She smiled and nodded her head. "You remember the night you and Kensei got together, right?"

Oh no, please no. They must've seen the comprehension dawn on my face, since before I knew it, my arms were pinned behind my back and I was being dragged into my bedroom. They had this planned the entire time.

"No!" I shouted, wriggling desperately to get free. "You're not putting make up on me again!"

Of course, both Rose and Yumichika heard this through all the racket. They glanced at each other and nodded at each other in a mutual truce. They got up and followed us into the bed room.

Why does this always happen? _I'm not some damn Barbie!_

Why? It was probably because they found it humorous and they had nothing else to do considering they sued the pants off Aizen and didn't have to work. And Rose seemed to think that I had good bone structure and he wanted to experiment with it.

I saw Lisa eyeing Renji's stupid skirt on the floor and with horror I realized that this wasn't going to stop at makeup.

**

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**

Thirty minutes later and my pride was crushed. I tried to take it like a man, I really did. However, that was pretty difficult considering that I now had on a miniskirt, tank top, and five layers of makeup plastered on my face. Mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, the works. I refused to admit that it looked good. Which it didn't, in my unbiased opinion.

Lisa and Shinji studied me, fighting back giggles. Yumichika and Rose looked proud of their combined effort. I just huffed and stood up, ready to head into the bathroom and scrub my body until there wasn't a trace of cosmetics left.

Mashiro, though, poked her head in at that moment. She squealed and launched onto me, knocking the air out of my lungs. We fell to the ground in a disorganized tumble.

"Shuu-chan~" she said, pinching my cheeks. I was feeling a sense of déjà vu… Oh yeah, because once again I was sprawled out on the ground in a compromising position. Except now I was wearing a skirt that everyone could see up of.

Shinji gulped and scratched his head. "Maybe we should change him back before Kensei gets here," he muttered. I looked down, realizing that both the skirt and top had ridden up so that much more skin was revealed. The exposure didn't bother me too much, but Kensei wouldn't like the idea of me parading around dressed like a stripper.

"What the fuck's going on here?"

All six people in the bed room stopped breathing at the same time. We all turned slowly towards the doorway, where Kensei was standing, his face frozen in shock. He was staring at me, his eyes wide and jaw falling open.

It didn't stay that way for long, though. He slowly turned red and that was pretty much the signal to get out and run. The room was empty of anyone but me in a second, with Kensei chasing everyone out of the apartment. All noise filtered away (including the muffled "beware the ape!"), until all that was left was stomping of Kensei's feet. I sat up, my face a little flushed and my clothes clinging to all the wrong places. Kensei came back into the room and groaned once he got a good look at me. I know he tried not to, but his eyes roamed my exposed legs and midsection. I couldn't tell if he liked what he saw or not, but his jaw clenched and his eyes started to cloud. He took a few deep breaths and closed the door behind him.

"If you wanted to role-play so bad you could've just told me," he finally sighed.

Blood rushed to my face and I sputtered indignantly. Needless to say, Kensei was sleeping on the couch that night.

**

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**

**This is the last time I'm going to make Shuuhei a cross-dresser. It's out of my system. I swear! **

**Actually, I'm thinking of bringing this story up to M, since I want to write a little intimacy. However… I suck at sex scenes. So we'll see how that goes.**


	9. Chapter NINE

**A/N: So, sex scene. Yay… As you can see, I can't help but add a tiny bit of drama. So this is M rated material, meaning that there is sex between two men. So if you don't like that...then don't read this.  
**

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**

I wasn't one to brag, but it was no secret that I was the one who transformed Karakura Sports into an excellent store. Sure, when Kensei was the only one managing it, everything was cheap. However, low prices don't always attract customers. A store needs personality, advertisements, and a salesperson that doesn't either scare the living shit out of someone or annoy them to death. Anyway, I liked to think of myself as the store's savior.

First, I organized the merchandise so that it actually looked good. No weird piles of gloves or baseball bats in random places. I also added stuff like sizing charts and information about each sport so that customers would feel more confident with that they were buying. I put out flyers around town so that people knew this place existed. Really, if Renji hadn't wandered down this street, I would've never known there was a sports shop here. Also, last but not least, I made the store look pretty. Well, not pretty. It no longer looked like a jail cell filled with crap. Of course, with me at the wheel, the store became more popular and Kensei always refused to acknowledge that I was a better salesperson and manager than him. Him and his stupid pride.

It was on one of the typical crowded afternoons when I realized that Kensei and I still hadn't gone all the way. This really isn't a revelation someone wants to have when they're talking to an old granny about the effects of wearing old running shoes.

"Could my shoes be the cause of my pains?" she asked me.

"If the pains are really bothering you, you should go see a doctor. But I know from experience that bad running shoes can make your shins ache and your legs feel stiff-ff—_uh_..." Yeah, that was when the image of Kensei's hard length_ not_ delving into me came to mind. The old woman looked at me like I was crazy, but I just waved it off as indigestion. She seemed to understand and we continued our conversation.

However, after that I couldn't concentrate on anything other than the fact that Kensei somehow avoided the next step in our intimate relationship. I eventually sent the sweet woman on her way with a new pair of shoes and a promise to see a doctor if the problem persisted.

There were still a few hours left before closing time. I was torn between having Mashiro replace me so I could slip into Kensei's office or waiting until the store closed. I probably stood there looking like an idiot for a good ten minutes before I made up my mind. No matter how much Shinji corrupted me, I would hold my ground until closing time. I was not a slacker!

This turned out to be more difficult than I thought, since after my split-second fantasy I was really, really horny. Kensei and I had gone pretty far sexually. In fact, a few nights before, I felt _him_ on my lips for the first time. The memory of my tongue dragging against him and swallowing down what I could made me bite my lip and try to force my arousal into submission. Oh god, I was turning into an even bigger pervert.

For the next few hours I tried to keep the fantasies at bay. I wasn't worried about the reason why Kensei was avoiding the most intimate contact I could imagine. If he was just turned off by the butt aspect of it, then I knew I could seduce him into wanting it. Or maybe he was afraid that he'd bottom. Despite how much that thought excited me, he brought out the submissive side of me. _Sometimes_.

By the time I locked the shop's front door, I was ready to explode. Mashiro had already left, so it was only me and Kensei. Kensei was in his office and it only took a few moments for me to reach his door.

He looked up in surprise and he saw the door open. He was hunched over his desk, pen in hand and papers strewn across the wood surface. He was blissfully unaware of Hurricane Shuuhei coming his way. But I must've had the words _horny teenager_ stamped on my forehead since he didn't stay unawares for long.

"Oh, god, not now," he sighed, rubbing his temples. I locked the door behind me.

"You promised we'd do it once I graduated," I stated, getting right to it. Kensei had strong moral objections to having sex with a high school student. I graduated a few weeks before and was going to the local university in the fall. We also rented an apartment together, so I couldn't see what the problem was.

Kensei groaned and let his pen fall to the desk.

"Let's do this at home," he mumbled, rubbing his hands over his face. I puffed up and crossed my arms over my chest.

"No," I said, eyeing him from across the room. I walked over to his desk and loomed over his sitting form. He stared up at me with a what-the-hell look on his face. "If we go back home you'll find some kind of excuse…or someone will come barging in," I added as an afterthought.

Kensei stood up so that we were face to face. He looked me in the eye, like he was studying me.

"You sure you want to do this?" he asked. I nodded, wondering why he looked so hesitant.

"Come on, I'm not scared or anything," I joked. He stopped his movements and glanced away. No way. Why would he- "You think because of Jiruga…?" His silence was my answer.

This was why he didn't attempt to go any further with me? Because he thought I was mentally scarred from my short-lived night with Jiruga? My heart was melting at the thought of him caring enough to think that much, but I was also a little worried.

"We've already been through this," I said. "He didn't do anything."

"He almost did," Kensei snapped back. Yeah. I know. I was _there_.

"I _escaped_." Sure, it had been scary as hell, but I got through it. In fact, the only thing that bothered me about that night was Kensei's uncontainable anger. That was the first time I thought he'd lose control. My life had been filled of scary shit; I had the scars to prove it. The incident with Jiruga was something I could forget about. I was good at forgetting.

"Shuuhei," he groaned. He grasped my arm hard and tugged me closer. The close contact made my heart race for all sorts of reasons. "You were trapped in a room with him. He touched you and almost forced you. Look me in the eye and tell me that didn't scare you."

He was calm again, but his eyes were cold. I wanted to look away, but forced myself to stay strong. However, his gaze was unnerving me.

"I-…I was scared at the time," I mumbled. Kensei nodded, looking as if he proved something. "But that was _then_," I stressed. "He's gone. I'm not scared anymore."

Kensei shook his head, like I was missing some vital point. I clenched my hands into fists. I knew my emotions and I knew that I wanted this. Kensei didn't trust me, didn't listen to me. I held back the urge to leap forward and smack that exasperated look off his face.

"I saw you," he finally said. He looked me in the eye again, daring me to say something. The only problem was that I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Masturbating?" I offered. His jaw dropped open before he groaned.

"No!" he almost yelled. "You flinched! When I started to finger you, you flinched."

I barely remembered that. We just had a good round of groping when he had started to delve towards my backside. Normally, I would've been all for it, but earlier that day I slipped and smashed my tail bone against the edge of a concrete step. Kensei just happened to touch the bruise. He immediately apologized and walked away. I assumed he understood.

"My butt hurt," I explained. He didn't look convinced. "I fell and my tailbone bruised. You touched it. It hurt. I flinched from _pain_." Was this so hard to understand?

Kensei frowned, studying me. After a while he flopped back on the chair, rubbing his eyes.

"Really?" he asked.

"_Yes_."

He was silent again. He just stared at me, with that frown marring his face. Realizing that he was waiting for me, I walked over to his chair and leaned down. I ran my hand through his hair and smiled.

"I'm not scared, Kensei," I murmured. "I love you. _I want you_. More than anything."

A hand grabbed the back of my head and pulled my face towards his. Our lips came together and I sighed into the touch.

"Well, if you put it that way," he whispered in my ear.

_Finally._

**

* * *

**

The drive back to our apartment was torture. Kensei's sports car couldn't go fast enough and all the traffic lights were against us. I sat in the passenger seat next to him, hardly able to keep my hands in my lap. The urge to reach over and touch him was strong and it looked like Kensei wasn't faring any better than I was.

We pulled into the designated parking space and jumped out as soon as the car came to a stop. In record time we ran to our apartment and locked the door behind us. In the sanctuary of our home, we came together in a breath-taking kiss.

As we smashed our lips together, his hands ran all over my body. I weaved my fingers through his hair, reveling in the feel of the silky white strands. There was nothing separating our bodies but the confines of our clothes.

We stumbled into the bedroom, blindly falling onto the large bed. I landed on top, staring into Kensei's deep grey eyes. For once, I was in control. I liked staring down at him. I

"Don't think about it," Kensei growled before expertly flipping us over. I was sprawled over the sheets, Kensei hovering over me. It seemed like there was no way he was giving me any chance of domination. Oh well, I would give in _this_ time. But- I grabbed the back of his head and forced him into a searing kiss which left us both winded—I wasn't going to give up control.

The look on Kensei's face was of pure hunger. His eyes were smoldering and I melted under his gaze. The room was too hot and I tugged at my shirt, needing it to be off _now_. Kensei did the same.

Kensei liked foreplay. He liked to drive his partner into oblivion before he took it to the next level. As much as I appreciated that, at that moment I was not in the mood to stall any longer. I latched onto his belt and within the blink of an eye I had his pants on the floor. Like everything else, I was an expert at undressing. Kensei looked like he was caught between laughing and groaning, but in the end he settled for tearing every piece of clothing off me until I was laying beneath him in all my glory.

I took a moment to look him over. I'd seen him naked tons of times before (and he was nothing short of perfect), but that humongous thing hanging between his legs hadn't been about to go into me before. I was staring at it, valuing it's godliness but also wondering how it was going to fit. There was no way it was going in without a lot of preparation.

Kensei saw the direction of my gaze and chuckled before covering my body with his. His body heat turned my brain into mush.

"Leave it all to me," he whispered in my ear, the puffs of breaths sending sparks straight to my groin. I moaned and arched into him. The need to wait became less and less important as the seconds ticked on.

His hands ran down my chest, leaving sparks as they went. I loved it when he touched me. I loved it when his hands grasped my hips and tugged them into his own. I loved it when he grinded into me, our arousals meeting and rubbing together.

I was about to lose my mind.

I dragged my hands down his back and cupped his muscular backside. I squeezed, eliciting a groan that turned into a gasp when my finger found his entrance.

"Hurry up," I ordered breathlessly. "Or I'll do it for you."

Before I could say anything more, Kensei snatched a bottle of lube from the bedside table. It was pity he was so adverse to the thought of bottoming for me, but, I guessed it would also be fun slowly getting him keen to the idea. I smirked, thinking of the ways-

My eyes shot wide open as a single digit prodded me, teasing me open before working its way in. It was strange. I'd never done this before, and the feeling was something I never experienced. It was uncomfortable at first, but when he started stroking, my eyes slid closed. I could feel flesh sliding against flesh and I pushed back, wanting more of the satisfying contact.

The finger drew back out and came back with another. It took a few moments of caressing before the two slipped in. I didn't feel pain; Kensei did it so slowly and patiently. His two fingers thrusting in and out almost drove me over the edge. I was dangerously close to losing my hold on reality when he hit a spot that made me see white.

I covered my face with my arms. _Oh gods_. I pushed back, hoping to hit that spot again. My mouth was dry and my heart was threatening to leap out of my chest, but I didn't care. I just wanted more.

I half expected Kensei to laugh at my reactions, but I only heard an inhale before he crushed his lips against mine. Our tongues tangled together and I lost myself in the feeling of us moving together. I moved my arms out of the way and wrapped them around his neck, pressing him closer. His body was hot, burning, and his muscles writhed under my touch.

His face was flushed and I knew mine was too. He belatedly grabbed a condom and tried to rip it open. His hands were too slippery, though, and I ended up snatching it from him, my patience running thin. I tore open the package and instantly rolled it over him. He groaned and thrust into my touch.

I rolled over onto my stomach, lifting my hips. Kensei squeezed one of my cheeks, rubbing it as he lined himself up. My entire body shivered, every part of me ready for this moment.

The head of his erection slipped in and I chocked on a gasp. It was bigger than his fingers. It stretched me in ways that were both pleasurable and painful. Before long, the pleasure melted away the pain as he went in deeper and deeper. He went in as far as he could and paused. I could feel him twitch inside me.

I was full, bursting to the point where my thoughts spilled away, leaving me muddled and gasping. I eventually adjusted to his size and pushed back, asking for more. He slowly drew out and pushed back in, keeping it measured and deliberate. One of his hands was entwined with mine, the other grasped my hip.

My head fell to the bed, my free hand clutching the sheets. He picked up the pace, each thrust rocking me into the mattress. Almost each time he hit that spot. I was letting out noises I would be horrified of later, but at the moment each whimper and moan fueled my arousal.

Soon enough, Kensei worked himself into a frenzied pace. My mouth hung open as he pounded into me, everything focusing on the sensation of him forcing himself in deeper and deeper. I cried out each time he hit home, my throat soon becoming raw but I was too far gone to care.

His hand reached under me and grabbed my length. He jerked the shaft and my eyes snapped open. I let out a long, loud moan before grinding back into him. He thrust in harder, making me yelp. He kept a grip on my hip as he tugged on my erection. All I could do was flop and was just _feel _as the sensations over came me. My breath came out in short gasps, my eyes slid closed, and my mouth fell open into a small scream as I came all over the sheets.

All my strength left me and my legs gave out. Kensei fell with me, plunging him in deeper. That, coupled with me clenching around him, sent him over the edge. He groaned as he emptied himself into the condom.

He fell on top of me when he was done. As soon as he gathered his thoughts together, he rolled off me onto his side.

For a few minutes, I basked in the afterglow of my orgasm as Kensei did the same. His arms snaked around me, pulling me to his chest. We spooned together for a while, relishing in each other's warmth and presence. Our breathing slowly returned to normal.

He pressed light kisses against the back of my head, thanking me, worshipping me.

"Kensei," I managed to say. I turned around, so that we were chest to chest, and kissed him. "I wasn't scared."

He smiled against my lips and drew me in closer.

I finally belonged to him entirely and he also belonged to me. I wasn't sure what fate would bring us, whether we would be together forever as we intended. However, at that moment, it was just Kensei and I, wrapped together in each other's arms. No interruptions. No threats. Just us.


End file.
